Eight years of marriage have been a journey filled with love, growth, and shared experiences. From the initial excitement of new love to the comfort and familiarity we now cherish, my partner and I have learned valuable lessons that have strengthened our relationship over time.

Throughout our marriage, we have both grown as individuals and as a couple. Life has a way of presenting us with unexpected challenges and opportunities, and we’ve learned to embrace them together. Our commitment to supporting each other’s personal development and aspirations has been fundamental to our growth. We’ve encouraged each other to pursue our passions and dreams, recognizing that fostering our individual happiness contributes to the strength of our bond as a couple. This shared understanding has given us the freedom to explore new interests and continuously evolve alongside each other.

Honest and open communication has been a cornerstone of our relationship. From the early days of our marriage, we made a conscious effort to communicate with each other openly, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and fears without reservation. This vulnerability has allowed us to deepen our emotional connection and build trust over time. By being transparent with our needs and desires, we’ve been able to navigate challenges and conflicts more effectively. We’ve learned that communication is not just about talking, but also about truly listening to one another and striving to understand each other’s perspectives.

Amidst the busyness of life, we’ve always made it a point to prioritize quality time together. Date nights, weekend getaways, or even simple walks in the park are cherished moments that allow us to escape the daily routine and nurture our bond. These moments of togetherness have become the pillars of our relationship, offering us a chance to create lasting memories and reaffirm our love for one another. We recognize the importance of carving out time for each other, and it has undoubtedly contributed to the strength and longevity of our marriage.

Over the years, life has thrown its fair share of challenges our way. From career transitions to family responsibilities, we’ve encountered both ups and downs. However, what sets us apart is our unwavering commitment to face these challenges as a united front. Instead of retreating into ourselves during difficult times, we lean on each other for support and strength. By being each other’s rock during tough moments, we’ve learned that together, we can overcome anything that life throws our way.

While major milestones are certainly worth celebrating, we’ve also learned the value of appreciating the little things in our relationship. From morning cuddles to spontaneous acts of kindness, it’s the small gestures that often have the most significant impact. These moments of love and tenderness remind us of the beauty of our connection, even in the simplest of acts.

Shared interests have brought us closer together. Whether it’s trying out a new hobby together, traveling to new destinations, or indulging in mutual passions, these shared experiences have strengthened our bond and created unforgettable memories. We’ve learned that exploring new interests together allows us to discover different facets of our relationship and keeps our connection fresh and exciting.

Gratitude has become a daily practice in our marriage. We take time to express appreciation for each other and the life we have built together. Cultivating gratitude has taught us to be mindful of the blessings we have, reminding us of the love and happiness that surrounds us.

We believe that a successful marriage requires continuous learning and growth. As time passes, we realize that there is always more to discover about each other. By remaining curious and open to learning, we ensure that our love continues to evolve with time.

As we celebrate eight years of marriage, we reflect on the beautiful journey we’ve shared together. Embracing growth, communicating openly, prioritizing quality time, facing challenges hand in hand, appreciating life’s simple joys, exploring shared interests, cultivating gratitude, and embracing continuous learning have all contributed to the strength and depth of our love. Our marriage is a testament to the power of love and commitment, and we look forward to what the future holds for us as we continue to navigate life’s ups and downs together.

He seemed to be always in the vicinity when I took my walk around our subdivision. More importantly, he seemed to always be in a sour mood on those occasions. The first time I passed by him, he was quietly sitting on a bench, but he had a frown on his face. I stopped the smile that I was supposed to give him and thought to myself that he might be a snob. He had the same look on five more occasions I passed by him doing different things. Hence, I stuck to my conclusion about him – he’s a snob and someone who does not want to be befriended. 

One day, however, my view about him took a 360-degree turn. During my regular walk that fateful day, I saw him sitting on the same bench with an older person in a wheelchair.  I also happened to overhear him answer a question from another passerby (who seems to know him personally) when the older person got discharged from the hospital. 

Right then and there, I realized that I had totally misjudged him despite not knowing even a fraction of who he is or what he goes through. I misjudged him after seeing him with a frown on his face during every encounter. I didn’t even have a single conversation with him but I judged his character right away. 

The thing is I made all those conclusions and created stories inside my head, painted him in a bad light because of those chance encounters, which coincidentally showed him as someone disagreeable. 

I realized that most of the time, human beings tend to judge others based on their observations without trying to understand what the other person is going through or went through to develop such a disposition. 

“He does not have anyone with him at home, people might not like living with him.” “He has a lot of tattoos, he must be a gangster.” “He’s always at home, he must be unemployed.” “He’s having an argument with an elderly, he must be disrespectful.” These are some of the judgmental things I hear which most of the time are unfounded. 

With the countless people I encountered and the experiences I had with many of them, I used to think that I knew the meaning behind people’s behaviors and that I was knowledgeable enough about human behavior to make a conclusion about the kind of people they are. The thing is I do not have any right to judge, as I always say, because I do not even fully know all the people who are dear and close to me, how much more are those people I only encounter in passing. 

What lesson did I learn from this encounter? It is a lesson I am reminded of over and over. There’s always more beneath what we see on the surface. Therefore, let us choose to understand rather than judge. 

(Photo by karatara)

Since the start of the year, I have been on work mode. My mind has been in constant overdrive. I am not complaining because I love what I do and I believe that this is what my purpose in life is. On the other hand, I also acknowledge the fact that rest is equally important for me to live the gift of life fully. 

However, I sometimes get caught in the hustle and bustle that I almost forget the need to rest. When this happens, I get reminders why I have to rest. 

1. I cannot give what I do not have. This is one of my mantras that help me remain grounded. In my line of work, one of the top things I always need is a high level of energy. Without it, I would not be able to successfully accomplish the end goal of my mission. 
2. I can only be the best in what I do when I am at my best condition. For me, it is very important to be at my best when engaging in anything – work, building relationships, doing life. However, being at my best would never be possible if I am exhausted and drained. With rest, the exhaustion can be addressed. It’s the best way to be at my best when I do what I need to do. 
3. I should not abuse my body. I have long acknowledged the fact that the human body is sacred. It should not be subjected to abuse like making it unhealthy and overworked. Therefore, despite the times that I feel like I am not really that exhausted because of the adrenaline rush in my system, I still see to it that I rest my body.
4. I am able to appreciate my progress. When my mind is on overdrive with all the tasks I need to complete, I fail to see my little wins – the completion of a task, the smile of appreciation of the people I served. When I rest, though, I have the time to look back and reflect at what I was able to accomplish. With rest, I find the time to appreciate and be grateful for the abilities and opportunities I am blessed with. 

In other words, we need to find direction in the way we live our respective lives. Our work is our way of worshiping our Creator, therefore, we need to give our 100% best in it – use the talents we were given, and work on ourselves to be better. 

But, we also need to remember that we ought to take care of the body and the life we are given to continuously be able to serve our purpose. 

Without rest, how are we supposed to fulfill our respective missions and give our 100% best in everything we do? 

The year 2023, so far, has been very eventful for me. We are back to conducting onsite training events, and traveling. 

Influenced by the different activities we have engaged ourselves in this year, plenty of ideas have been conceived. These ideas have been brought about by these recent realizations I have:

1. I have come to the conclusion that home is indeed a feeling. At first I thought that we’d be missing our house so much since we’d been gone for a long period of time. However, we have not really felt the level of homesickness that we expected. I realized later on that it could be because my spouse and I are together here, along with our fur baby. Besides that, we also got to visit many of our relatives. We feel at home here even when we are physically away from home. Thus, I conclude that home is a feeling and not merely a place. 
2. I have also been reminded that time is a gift we can only hope to have more of. In the period of time we have spent here in Manila, we have experienced circumstances that made us realize how important time is. Putting off tasks or other activities next time could sometimes lead to regrets because sometimes the next opportunity would no longer come. 
3. My belief on relationships thriving if nurtured has been cemented. There are relationships that we built and there are those that we are automatically gifted with when we were born. Yet, any kind of relationship could only survive and bloom when we take care of it, and put an effort to maintain it. 
4. It is never too late to start anew. Age does not matter when we want to start a new journey in life. We should not be limited to the standards of society about starting again. We can decide to change addresses or change careers if that is what we believe is the best path for us. 
5. You will never know until you try. Regardless of the outcome, it is always better to try than to be left with a series of what-ifs in the future. 

These are just random thoughts that I relate to a lot these days. How about you? Do you have any thoughts or realizations you feel like sharing?

As years keep adding up to my life, I become more curious about the difference in the lives of those who are happier from those who seem to be more uptight. Some would say that it is a no-brainer question. According to them, those who do not struggle financially are happier. Yet, it’s not always the case based on my observations. As I meet more people and learn their respective stories, I still get surprised with how some of them maintain a positive and happy disposition despite the challenges that life throws at them. 

So what did I discover? Since we are social beings, we inadvertently base our actions and decisions on the people around us – whether from wanting to please or from not wanting to be judged or cause disappointment. This kind of living is not healthy because it could hold us from tapping on our full potential and achieving our goals. Limited by the fear of society’s standards, the fear of being wrong in other people’s views and the eagerness to please others. Needless to say, this way does not make one happier. 

While it is not easy to divert from this tendency, there are little things that we can do to slowly do:

1. Keep yourself surrounded by people who acknowledge and encourage your views and goals, no matter how unique they may seem. While choosing solitary life may seem to be the perfect option for those who cannot stand criticisms and unsolicited advice, it is not feasible. I believe in the saying that no man is an island. Fortunately though, we have the free will to choose who to surround ourselves with. If you are someone who needs positive encouragement, then be with people who will not willingly put out your passion.  
2. Learn to compartmentalize when dealing with people who have different viewpoints from you. Due to people’s differences in experiences, we should always expect differences in opinions or viewpoints as well. While some people are willing to accept this difference, there are those who feel strongly about their beliefs that they would take offense when they hear different notions. When you find yourself in this situation, never take things personally.  
3. Take care of your wellbeing. Take care of yourself by continuously learning and taking time to rest and have fun. When you have a well-rounded life, it would be easier for you to appreciate the goodness of life and see the challenges as means to develop your character.  

Do you think that living a carefree life is possible? Are these pieces of advice helpful to achieve such a goal?

(Photo by Samir Jammal)

Helping others is one of the, if not the sole, reasons for our existence and our gifts. I believe that whatever blessings a person enjoys are meant to be shared with others, especially those who are in need of them. We need to remember, though, that the best way to help is not by spoon-feeding but by helping them learn how to acquire or achieve their goals. 

Based on my life experiences, I discovered the best ways to help people. Having experienced being one who needed help, and being the one who extended it, I have realized the following to be very helpful:

1. When someone cannot perform a task correctly, do it with them. Doing the task on their behalf might solve their current predicament but they would not be able to learn to do it in the future. It would not be possible for you to do it for them all the time, right? 
2. When someone is in a slump, remind them of their goal. Commenting negatively on their actions, inactions, decisions or indecisions would not lead them to do what is right. Instead of nagging, why don’t you serve as a reminder and an encouragement for them to remember their purposes and aspirations in life?  
3. Provide materials they can use as guidance. Since you cannot be available to directly help or guide them all the time, it is good to provide them with directions that they could use as a basis until such time that they become confident in doing things on their own. 
4. Let them learn from their mistakes. Allowing them to experience the effects of the mistakes they committed is one of the best ways to teach someone a lesson. Experience is the best teacher. Once they know how it feels to make a mistake, it would motivate them to do better and be better. 
5. Be a great example or model. Sometimes, people do not take kindly to being advised or guided by someone who does not practice what they preach. More often than not, people tend to emulate what they see. Therefore, it is important to be a good role model if you want to help others learn. 

While there is nothing wrong with helping someone by offering what they need on a silver platter, ready to be consumed, the lasting effects of helping them learn how to get what they need definitely is the better option to take.  

What do you think are other ways to help others?

(Photo by olia danilevich)

Some of us believe that changing one’s mind is not a good practice because it would make us seem inconsistent. A person who constantly changes his mind is usually considered as a red flag. This common belief led many people to stick to their plans even when, along the way, they discovered better ones. Isn’t it sad that society’s stereotype towards changing minds hindered others from achieving success and happiness?

If you are at the stage of your life where you are contemplating whether to change your direction or stay where you are, here are some pieces of advice for you to stop fearing change.

1. It is fine to change your mind about your life path when you learn new possibilities that you initially thought are not achievable. Never allow what others might say or think to stop you from changing your direction towards the better life you wish for yourself and the people who matter to you.
2. It is fine to change your mind about your life path because your beliefs changed. Most of our beliefs have only been passed on to us. As we mature, go through different experiences, and learn, we realize many things that make us hesitate about our life choices. When this happens to you, allow yourself to make a change as long as you are firm with what you believe.
3. It is fine to change when circumstances change, and adapting is necessary. There are times when what we initially plan can no longer be achieved due to a change in condition, which we cannot control. Is it wise to still stick to that path when you know any efforts you put into it will only be futile? Do not stick to it for the sake of not being labeled as a fickle-minded person. Remember that your future is at stake, not theirs.
4. It is fine to change when we discover the truth and learn the realities of life. As we grow older and start to fend for ourselves, we face challenges that would necessitate us to adjust our approach or timing of our goals. Never be afraid to change whatever you need to change to continue your life journey. You might need to change your pace or your destination. That is totally okay and up to you.
5. It is fine to change when we find that one thing that makes us feel fulfilled. It is not true that dreams do not change. They do for some people (if not all). When you reach a certain point in your life, that point when you are already capable of discernment, ask yourself whether what you are pursuing still stirs the passion in you. If you find something that you love, it is okay for you to reach for that instead.

Let us not be afraid of change and be the initiator of change. When you know that changing is necessary for your growth and the fulfillment of your life purpose, do not let your insecurities or other people’s judgment stop you. You can serve the world better when you love who and what you are. Live life to the fullest.

Do you agree that it is okay to change one’s mind when faced with these instances?

(Photo by Ondosan Sinaga)

What phrase do people usually utter when they encourage themselves to pursue their goals or dreams? They typically say, “I can do it” over and over. I know that much, as I am one of those who say this as a mantra to keep me going after what I am passionate about. 

However, I also know that life should not only be about positive thinking or declarations to turn dreams into reality. I also know that much. In my more than 30 years of living life the best way I can, I have learned and worked on declaring that I can positively and say I did it successfully. 

Here are the steps that I usually follow to transition my I-cans to I-dids:

1. I declare first. Declaring is very important for me because it helps me direct all the other parts of my body to the direction of my mind. When I voice out what I want, I coordinate with all aspects of my being to unite for the same purpose. 
2. I gather strength. Gathering strength for me is getting all the support I can and need to accomplish my goal. Asking for help is not something I shy away from because two or more heads are better than one. Why would I punish myself by doing things on my own if I have the chance to be more successful with the support of others? 
3. I equip myself. As I always say, in every opportunity I have, one thing I invest in is education. Continuing to learn is something that I do not only see as an additional activity to fill my hours. It is a necessity. For me to continuously have the ability to achieve my goals, I have to continue to grow and develop my competencies. 
4. I try and try. Since it is not uncommon for failures or mistakes to transpire, I always remind myself not to succumb to self-pity when a mishap takes place. I remind myself of how such things are part of the process, which could also help me grow and learn more. Therefore, despite all the challenges, I try again every time I fail. 
5. I always give my 100% effort. One of the best ways to have a chance for my goals to be achieved is to ensure that I give my 100% best when accomplishing them. There should be no room for half-hearted efforts. 

How about you? How do you make your dream a reality?

(Photo by Designecologist)

As the new year quickly came by, I couldn’t help but wonder where all the time went. It felt like time flew in just a blink of an eye. It made me realize that this year might also pass without me noticing. Being that as it is, I concluded that it is not wise to spend what time I have moping around or being unhappy. Time, being the most valuable thing, should be spent wisely – doing something we love and making others happy. 

However, it is also inevitable to feel disheartened, especially when facing new challenges that seem unsurpassable sometimes. The good thing is that we can always do something about it, turn everything around and help ourselves. Here are the things that I actively and consciously do to lift my spirits when things feel a little bit unbearable:

1. I do a gratitude exercise, writing down the things I am grateful for being the first. I consciously look around me and list all the things that make my life bearable at that moment, like my bed or my spouse. 
2. I take time to enjoy good food. Instead of going through meal times to fill my stomach, I consciously and slowly savor the food I eat. I focus on identifying the ingredients that make my meal taste good. 
3. I take a walk or drive without any intention of doing an errand. I look around and observe my surroundings and everything I pass by. 
4. I take a break from my tasks. I would set up a different working space outside the house or someplace that I find comfortable and bask in it before returning to work. 
5. I count my wins. I trust all my successes, and that includes even the littlest ones. I tap myself in the back for being able to wake up early and start my day without missing my routine. I tap myself at the back to complete my success list for the day. As I said, I count every single win.

In times when things seem to be out of sorts, we need not face them right away. Through experience, it is essential to neutralize my emotions first to handle the challenges afterward effectively. Hence, the list of activities to lift to pump up my mood. 

How do you deal with a bad mood?

(Photo by Pixabay)

Aside from purchasing a planner and brainstorming for resolutions, there are more important things we need to welcome the new year. Yes, I know it is quite difficult to plan when we are caught in the holiday celebrations and fun but we need to balance it out and make sure that we are physically, mentally, and spiritually ready to face 2023. Although we can never have certainty in life, we can have excitement and energy when we know that we took actions that would help us tread the journey awaiting us. So here are the things I suggest we do for the new year:

1. Set goals for your personal and professional life. Setting goals is best done before the new year starts because it will allow you to maximize the first month. But, it’s not too late to start it at the early days of this month. When you already know your goals, you will already know your plans of action and when you’re going to start them. When planning is done on the first few days or before the new year, the first month can already be utilized for taking action. 
2. Equip yourself with the necessary skills to achieve your goals. The mindset that we usually have when the year-end holidays come is days off and fun, that is why we no longer want to think about anything concerning work or business. I believe, however, that the end and the immediate start of the year is the best time to prepare ourselves for the goals and challenges. This can be done by identifying first what knowledge and skills we need to have to achieve the goals we have set, then finding the right action that would enable us to acquire such knowledge and skills. Isn’t it better to start the new year fully equipped?
3. Put a closure to the things that made you unproductive. In a previous blog, I have included on the list of things to do before the year ends the identification of the reasons why we have not achieved some of our goals. This process can show us the habits or routines we have that contributed to our inability to achieve certain goals. If we can identify such unhelpful habits or routines, then we have to start working on letting those go.
4. Start new habits that will help you achieve your goals. Besides ridding ourselves of nonsensical habits, we should also start new ones that would help us become more productive, and make us more capable of accomplishing our goals. Since it is said that it takes days to form a habit, we should start developing the habits we want to keep for the new year so that the first month will not be wasted. 
5. Revitalize yourself to be ready for what you are about to do. The previous year might have brought us different types of stresses which made us exhausted not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. For most of us, it extracted a lot of energy. For this reason, we need to allocate ample time to rest our body, mind, heart, and soul. This can be done through meditation, exercise, and a healthy lifestyle. 

If there were goals that did not materialize last year, the new year will be another chance to work for them. We may not know what the future holds but we should not just wait for it to unfold without physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually preparing for it. We should have a clear direction, tools, open mind, and courageous heart when we set out on a new journey. The above suggestions are some of the ways that would help us obtain these essentials. 

Do you think these are important? Or should we just go with the flow?

(Photo by olia danilevich) 

Being in the field of training, I encounter many people of different backgrounds, personalities, characters, experiences, and beliefs. I hear various stories of failures and successes. I learn multitudes of life hacks and lessons. From the different lives I got the privilege of knowing so far, I have discovered some common reasons why people give up on their original dreams in life. 

1. Unsupportive “support” group. Most people become who they are because of the people who nurtured them. While some of us do not allow these important people to define who we are or dictate what we achieve, some do. The pressure overcomes them. 
2. Fear. Dreams are scary, especially if they’re too big based on common standards. Also, people are often affected by whether the people around them support their goals. Hence, instead of trying, they let go of their dreams if they see they are on their own. 
3. Limiting beliefs. Especially with seemingly lofty dreams, most people tend to think they’re impossible to achieve. They would have reasons like not having resources, talent, skills, or connections. 
4. Wrong crowd. The people we surround ourselves with also affect how we view our dreams. When we are surrounded by pessimistic people and hear negativities all the time, we would unknowingly lose the hope and confidence we have inside us. 
5. Failure. Failing is the most common cause behind people giving up on their dreams. Some people tend to give up on the first try because they would take such a result as a sign that the dream is not for them. Giving up usually happens when the sacrifices and risks involved are high. 

Do you agree with this? Have you experienced letting go of your dreams for any of the above reasons?

(Photo by Karyme França) 

Doesn’t it feel good to accomplish things single-handedly? Of course, it does. Being able to overcome challenges while trying to complete a task or a goal typically makes one feel good about themselves. However, this feeling often makes some people overly independent and too proud. This tendency could bring possible bad results over good ones. 

While independence is an excellent characteristic, humans are made to support and complement one another. Each person has their strengths, but they also have their weaknesses. With strength, they can help one another and depend on another person to help them with their weaknesses. There is not a single person created to stand all alone. Therefore we need to find the people who can stand and walk with us on our journey. 

I have always believed in this notion, but I chose to discuss it further in this piece because of the varying reminders I encountered and experienced this week. 

After she watched Enola Holmes 2, my wife shared with me quotes from the movie, which struck her and struck me in turn. First: “You will do very well on your own. But with others, you could be magnificent.” I easily relate to this statement as I’ve seen the difference between having people help me in my personal and professional life. When I worked on my own, I usually found it hard to get things done promptly. It would even get me to the point of abandoning tasks. Now, my team makes the previously seemingly unattainable tasks possible. 

Second: “Find your allies. Work with them, and you will become more of who you are. You speak with one voice, and you will make more noise than you could ever have imagined.” I continuously witness the reality of this statement in the teams I train who are achieving more. Those who put effort into developing their respective teams, not only themselves, seem to have countless wins and fulfillment. They also exude a happier disposition. 

Do you agree that we shouldn’t be alone in our journey?

(Photo by Tom Fisk)

Do you know why there are people who are always cynical about anything, even the good things? As human beings develop a defense mechanism when they experience something undesirable, suspicious people most likely developed such character from being taken advantage of in the past. 

We cannot possibly control how other people act and treat us. We cannot always read their real intentions toward us. We can only help and protect ourselves from people trying to bring us down or take advantage of us. Here are some ways that could help us:

1. We should learn and practice saying no. Whether we admit it or not, some people take advantage of those who seem afraid to decline requests, even when the request would put the latter at a disadvantage. It could help prevent such from happening if we learn to say no. While helping other people is one of our duties, it doesn’t mean that we should never decline requests. We can only give what we have and are capable of giving. Never allow yourself to be held back by the need to please everyone. We should not feel wrong about declining requests. 
2. We should slowly remove ourselves from relationships that only take from us. Getting hurt when trust is broken is normal. Therefore, when we see that a person has the tendency to break our faith in them and does not value our relationship with them, we should slowly accept the possible breakdown of the relationship. This would help prevent us from feeling bitterness on our part later. 
3. We should remain kind and civil. When we experience unfair situations like being taken advantage of, we should maintain a positive attitude. Let us not return the negativity done to us with the same negative deed. Allowing ourselves to foster negative emotions will only hinder us from moving forward and growing. Let it all go.  

These, for me, are the best things to do when people take advantage of us, to protect ourselves from becoming vengeful when such things happen to us in the future.

How else should we handle being taken advantage of by people? 

(Photo by cottonbro)

According to T. Harv Eker, your inner world creates your outer world. Whatever you think and allow to dwell inside your mind will affect how you act and respond. This wisdom has opened my eyes and helped me set myself free from the different wrong beliefs I had. 

Indeed, our inner and outer worlds have a direct relationship. Do you believe that our external world also affects our inner world? Because I do.  

Our home has been a mess lately. I mean, it’s extra messy these days because we have to fix some areas. My wife and I noticed that we had been unusually overwhelmed these days, and we both realized that the clutter around us actually caused this state. Specifically, here are the top five adverse effects of a messy space to us: 

1. Lethargy or exhaustion. Even when we have enough rest and sleep, we still tend to feel less energetic. I believe that this is because the mind cannot rest when seeing clutter. Mess seems to tell the brain that much work is still to be done. 
2. Unease or anxiety. We feel uneasy or anxious because our minds start to think about all the tasks we would surely need to do in the future while still facing the current set of tasks. Could everything be accomplished?
3. Lack of focus. One of the effective means to stay focused on tasks is to get rid of distractions. Who can focus when surrounded by too much clutter? 
4. Irritable temperament. Even the little things get under our skin when we think of all the tasks and other emotions that the messy space triggers. 
5. Unproductiveness. Finally, due to thinking or overthinking about many things, we fail to focus on the most important task at the moment, therefore accomplishing less than usual or none.

Do you also experience these things when your space is too cluttered? To help yourself, always make an effort to clear your space regularly. Condition your inner world as well as your outer world.   

(Photo by Sander)

How many times have you heard the statement “life is unpredictable”? Who could count, right? Saying it or hearing others remind you is like a consolation when your plans do not work out, or your efforts do not bring great results. Life’s unpredictability is a known fact that is quite difficult to accept and happens to everyone.

Successful, happy, or fulfilled people all had their fair share of disappointments, frustrations, and quelled hopes. The only difference these people have over those who felt lost after the losses is their drive to adjust their sails.

Adjusting your sails when a storm hits does not mean changing your destination. You could be just changing your course to reach your goal in one piece still. So what should you do when one of your courses of action or your series of plans does not work out the way you want them? 

1. Remind yourself of your ultimate goal. If you are sure and passionate about your greatest goal, you will not be hindered by obstacles from it. It would motivate you to keep moving despite all the challenges you encounter. 
2. Find alternative ways to reach your goal. Almost all destinations have a variety of paths. Your course that did not work is just one of those multiple routes. Therefore, find the best alternative approach for you to continue with your journey. 
3. Embrace the new path you chose. Choosing a new way toward your destination should not be half-hearted. Start the new journey by moving on from the recent failure. Stop fretting about what was and start working on what is. 
4. Equip yourself better. Changing your course should also mean changing or updating your equipment to suit your new circumstance best. Never be afraid of changing because, as people say, it is constant and necessary. 
5. Never allow negativity to reside in your head. One of the reasons people usually find it challenging to transition to a different path towards their ultimate goal is the fear of other people’s opinions. To address this, remind yourself of another fact – people always have something to say no matter what you do. Therefore, never allow any negativity to settle in your mind. Always go back to the first step – remind yourself of your why. 

When you encounter any storm, remember that you have the option and the power to adjust your sails. The choice of whether to take the opportunity is up to you. 

Do you agree?

(Photo by RODNAE Productions)

When the time comes that we would be blessed with a child or children of our own, and there is one thing I could do for them, it would be to help them overcome the tendency to be filled with fear. I would strive to do this because I know that fear could be a huge obstacle for a person in reaching their full potential. Based on my experience and the experiences of the people I conversed with about the root causes of fear in adults, here are the things I will strive hard always to remind my future offspring:

1. “Human beings are not perfect. Thus, it is totally okay to fail or commit mistakes.”
2. “Enjoy the process. Do not spend your time dreading the result.” 
3. “You made a mistake; you did not commit a crime. Try again.”
4. “Did your approach miss? Allow me to help you.” 
5. “What have you learned from this setback?”     
6. “What can you do better next time?”
7. “What kind of help or support do you need from me?”
8. “Can I count on you?”

While rebuking people who commit mistakes is necessary, it should be reinforced with support in most cases. Would you be empowered to try again when you experience an all-out castigation or mockery because of your shortcomings? Unless you are an inherently driven or headstrong individual, it is doubtful if you would. We should not be fooled by the idea that we have helped a person become better because we corrected a mistake and they did not do it again. They did not do it again, and that is a mistake. You caused them to lose opportunities to learn and grow as a person. You limit their capabilities as contributing individuals to the world. You reduced them to someone who would no longer make an impact in the world.

I liken this to someone learning to drive. That person will never learn if you set an expectation for them not to cause damage to the vehicle or other vehicles on the road. Setting an expectation that does not leave room for mistakes can lead to fear, not only of committing mistakes but of trying. Why not convert failures as an opportunity to teach instead? 

Do you think these could help the young generation to lessen their fears? 

(Photo by Eva Bronzini) 

Do you believe that a person can have different roles in one lifetime? I believe that. We ought to assume various roles besides the ones that come with our career choices or source of livelihood. What could be these roles?

1. Supporter. Do you acknowledge that we need other people to accomplish anything – may it be menial or great goals? I do. Without others, I believe it would not be possible for anyone to achieve anything. We all need a support system, even if that means only one person. Since we need other people’s support, we also need to be a supporter of others. We should not just take. We should also learn to give whatever it is we can offer.  
2. Teacher. I believe that each one of us has knowledge or skills that we can share with others. Whatever lesson we learn from training or experience is meant to be imparted because those learning could be what they need to fulfill their respective roles in the world. To help make the world a better place, we should learn to teach others what we know. 
3. Teammate. Regardless of our unifying relationship with any group we belong to, we should be proper teammates. A teammate is not only part of a group but contributes something to keep the group together and strong. As part of a family, for example, whether you are part of the older generation or younger ones, you are responsible for strengthening the unit and cultivating an atmosphere of love and understanding rather than conflict. A proper teammate does not create or help create strains in the relationship between the group members. 

Being entrusted with these roles, we need to embrace the responsibilities that come with them. These roles help develop you as a person, so even if they do not bring you material return for your efforts, you would need them as much as your career. Besides, taking responsibility for those roles is one way of giving back. 

Let us not only work on achieving success in our careers. We should also work on succeeding in the other roles we have to assume as human beings. 

What other roles do you think we should assume?

(Photo by esrageziyor)

It is not easy to not care about what other people think or say about you, right? You do not want to hear judgment from those you love, care about, and respect. While this is understandable, do you know how you might be sabotaging your growth, success, and happiness because of worrying or caring too much about other people’s thoughts and opinions?  

1. You adopt a personality that does not really embody the real you. To avoid being judged for your characteristics that might be considered unusual or out of the ordinary, you try to hide them and put on a different mask to ensure you don’t get any criticisms. How can you freely reach your full potential and work on your life purpose if you hide the real you? 
2. You are always filled with anxiety. Nothing brings more stress and worries than always thinking about what other people might think or say about you. Because of your constant concern for other people’s thoughts and opinions, you lose your peace of mind. Is it worth your restless and sleepless nights?
3. You follow the path that has been predetermined for you. One of the most crucial outcomes of caring too much about what people say or think is forcing yourself to go on a path that others think is best for you, even when you have a different way in mind. Would you really be happy in the end if you achieve something that is not really what you dream for yourself?
4. You fit yourself in the box that people put you in. You accept the category they put you in even when you are more than what people think you are. In this case, aren’t you sabotaging yourself by taking such labels? When you accept those labels, you are also unknowingly conditioning yourself to become what they say you are, even when you can be so much more. 
5. You do your best to please others but fail to make yourself happy. When you constantly think about how to make people like you and not judge you, everything you do will always be for their pleasure and approval. Would meeting people’s expectations of you make you really happy? Wouldn’t doing what you want to be more satisfying? 

In conclusion, caring too much about what others think or say about you could cost you your bright future and your happiness when you change yourself just to avoid such. How about you use the comments of others to strengthen yourself and fuel your passion for your mission in life? Isn’t it a better way to deal with such a challenge? 

(Photo by Pranavsinh suratia)

I have met many people in my life who have radically changed themselves because of the negative experiences they encountered in life, especially other people’s bad treatment of them. I have seen good people transform into indifferent and uncaring individuals because they experienced the same from other people. 

I believe that we should not allow ourselves to change for the worse because of such reasons. We should not lose our inherent goodness as human beings because of our negative experiences. Why?

1. Maintaining your goodness as a human being will give you peace of mind and heart. When you try not to use feelings anymore to avoid getting hurt when people mistreat you, you are going against the general purpose of life, which is to serve others. In addition, you become vengeful, uncaring, and indifferent. These characteristics would only bring you dissatisfaction when you look back because you could not make the world a better place throughout your life.
2. Changing for the worse would only make you belong in the same category as those who mistreated you. Other people’s treatment of you reflects themselves, not you. Use their treatment as the basis for how you treat other people. You do not like it; therefore, you should not treat people the same way. You should maintain your positive attitude despite how others treat you and dislike your disposition. 
3. Turning yourself into someone worse would only make you lose your cherished relationships. Changing because of other people’s cruel treatment affects how the people you care about look at you. You would only be building walls around you and isolating yourself from everyone else. It is not at all worth it. 

When people treat you badly or experience unfairness, do not blame yourself nor change yourself because of such, especially if you did nothing wrong. Continue to be good and kind no matter how the world treats you. While strengthening yourself is essential to overcome life’s challenges, do not harden your heart.

Do you think this is good advice?

(Photo by cottonbro) 

Three months ago, I stopped consuming what was supposed to be a must-have in my every meal – rice. Actually, it was not just rice. I stopped eating foods that are rich in carbohydrates and sugar. Yes, I also gave up on my guilty pleasure. I gave up on sweets. Those who know my sweet tooth would be shocked how I automatically decided to give them up altogether. But, I am proud of myself because I overcame the temptations. What a feat, right? 

Others say we are torturing ourselves because we are depriving ourselves, but the truth is we are doing ourselves a big favor. We are protecting our bodies from pains that would come with the different illnesses we might develop due to unhealthy lifestyles. 

Honestly, this is not the first time I tried to follow a healthy diet. In fact, I can no longer remember my number of attempts. So, why did I push through with this one?  

1. I realize now that I am getting older that I need to invest more in my health than ever. This diet is a preventive measure. 
2. I got rid of the unwanted baggage (fats) that had weighed me down for a long time. Despite my persistence to get rid of them through exercise, they remained. However, they disappeared like magic after a few weeks without carbohydrates and sugar. 
3. My energy and stamina went up many times over. This result was a plus point for me since I always need high energy in what I do. Being on this diet helps me to always be at the top of my game and not exhausted afterwards.

These reasons may not sound convincing to those looking for reasons to give up on the high-carb and sugar intake. Yet, to those who are experiencing such changes, these are very significant. 

While it might be quite an expensive diet, it is very much worth every expense. It might just save me from having medication maintenance when I grow old. I say it is short-term pain for long-term gain. For sure, your body and pocket will thank you later in life. 

Do you think this diet is worth trying?

(Photo by Angele  J) 

I am an ardent believer in the power of appreciation, so I always put a reminder out there to practice freely giving some to others. While it would not cost you any fortune, you would be able to help another person get through a difficult time with it.

Yes, it would not cost you anything if you give it, but if you choose to forgo it, it might cost other people their great future. Why is this so? Not all people take kindly to being unappreciated. You can always advise them to control themselves, but you cannot control how they would feel and how those feelings could change them for the worse. Therefore, learn ways to save people from becoming bitter. 

1. It is okay to reprimand but never forget to commend the good things. Why is it easy to point out the bad in people and then turn a blind eye to the good? Why don’t we practice the opposite? Wouldn’t we have a better world? People who get appreciated tend to try to live up to the goodness they were valued for. While those who are good but still criticized tend to give you what you accuse them of.
2. Do not compare them or what they did with that of others. They would think they are not enough. When someone gives you something or does something for you, never compare it to the gesture of others because you do not know how big of a deal it is for them. They might have given you something that is not significant for you but means everything to them.
3. Do not ask for anything else besides what they have given you. Instead of demanding more because you aren’t satisfied, thank the person sincerely for what you have received. If you request more, it means you are not satisfied or grateful for what they have given you. They might stop being their genuinely generous and loving self because of your ungratefulness.
4. Never criticize their choices in serving and making you happy. People have different natures and capabilities. One might give you extravagant gifts to make you feel pleased, while another person might choose to spend time with you. Do not base their gifts on your preference or love language because they have their own preferences and capabilities. 

These are simple and specific ways to show appreciation to the people around you. The key to making it easy to do is learning gratefulness. A grateful heart will always speak words of appreciation, not criticism. 

How else can we show appreciation?

(Photo by George Dolgikh @ Giftpundits.com)

It’s really amazing what interacting with people (in person) can do, especially after a few years of being limited to online interactions. These past few weeks, I stumbled upon realizations after realizations due to our travels. 

One of my realizations this time is how to find great companions in people. Finding and maintaining great companionships does not solely depend on the other party. I have come to realize that there are essential factors that are dependent on you. If you wish to find great companions in the people in your life or new acquaintances, try heeding these pieces of advice:

1. Be a good listener. No one wants to deal with a person who does not listen and only talks about himself. In addition, when you know how to listen, you can build a more connected relationship with the other person. 
2. Be respectful. People have differences, but it would not be a reason for disagreements when each one knows respect. People who see how you do not judge them and their life choices tend to give you the same consideration. Thus, a harmonious relationship has a great tendency to start.  
3. Be humble. No one wants to be with someone who constantly brags and shows off. Do not use a conversation as an opportunity to put the spotlight on yourself. When the spotlight is what you want, find a stage, not great companions.
4. Be good-natured. Though first impressions do not always turn out to be accurate, they affect a person’s decision in dealing with you. Therefore, do not appear reserved if you wish people to want to approach and interact with you. Moreover, people seldom want to maintain relationships with people with unpleasant demeanors.   

The main lesson of this discussion is that you should be someone you wish to associate with. You deserve what you give to the world. If you want to experience goodness, then be good.  

Do you find these pieces of advice sensible?

(Photo by Gonzalo Carlos Novillo Lapeyra) 

Have you ever shunned someone because of a hearsay offense? Did you ever find out if the said offense was actual? Have you experienced being avoided by people because you were wrongfully accused of something you did not do? How did you feel about it?

Not everything we see or hear is true. Like a coin, stories have two sides. Like a seemingly calm ocean surface, a person’s personality cannot be seen from their outward appearance. Therefore, we can never conclude fully knowing a person by what we see or hear about them. We can’t even base our judgment on a few encounters. Come to think that even the people we grew up with or share a long time with can still surprise or shock us with their personalities, skills, and other things they choose to hide. Thus, we should never easily judge a person. We have no right to do so anyway. The right question to ask ourselves is not how to judge a person the right way but how to avoid judging others instead.

Here are ways I find effective in stopping myself from judging people in my thoughts and my words.

1. I do not believe what I hear about a person from another source, regardless of who the source is. If the situation affects me, I would always want to know the other person’s side before deciding which side I should take. If I have no business getting involved, I would just let what I hear out my other ear. I would not allow such information to dwell inside my head.
2. I put myself in the person’s situation. Imagining myself to be in someone’s shoes helps me develop empathy. Being aware of how it must have felt to be that person usually stops me from passing judgment because I wouldn’t want to be in their situation.
3. I try to understand why people act the way they do. Knowing the reasons for a person’s questionable actions usually leads me to understand them. Seeing that a trigger caused them to act a certain way, judgment is out the window.
4. I accept the differences in people’s nature and nurture. Embracing that varying factors cause people’s differences helps me develop a less judgmental mind. I do not compare how a person should be or act based on how I act because we might have different experiences, status, traditions, and upbringing.
5. I remind myself how I have no right to judge anyone as I also have flaws and shortcomings. Nothing is more effective than remembering the fact that I, being an imperfect person, should not have the right to judge anyone.

Freeing yourself from judgmental thoughts or stopping yourself from minding other people’s lives, choices, or businesses will give you a less burdened mind. Instead of thinking about issues or problems with others, you can spend the time making yourself better or being productive.

Do you tend to judge other people easily? How do you stop yourself from doing so?

Yesterday, my wife and I got to witness a celebration of a marriage that has been thriving for 25 years. I never thought that such a celebration could be more beautiful than a first wedding. Yet, I find it even more beautiful because it was a celebration of a big win. Choosing to stay together, fight together, grow together, raise a family together, and contribute to society together while maintaining the love, respect, and devotion for each other is such an incredibly amazing feat considering the differences that could arise.

I am not saying that I am an expert in love and marriage because the fact is, I am far from one. However, as I go through my own married life and witness the married lives of others, I have extracted these lessons for a marriage to stay afloat and thrive:

1. There will always be differences but we can always choose acceptance as the answer. The key to acceptance is understanding that each one has their preferences and uniqueness in character, and that is including yourself.
2. There will always be annoying and dislikeable traits but we can always choose tolerance as the answer. We are to grow with our spouses but not forcefully change them to fit the category we like them to be in. As part of acceptance, we have to tolerate all the quirks of our partners.
3. There will always be mistakes, both big and small, but we can always choose forgiveness as the answer. Though forgiving can be very difficult, it is a very important act to learn when we want a marriage to work. Our spouses are not perfect and are human therefore mistakes are committed.
4. There will always be temptations but we can always choose respect as the answer. We will have the strength and conviction to turn away from temptations when we value the fact that our spouses are our other halves. When we respect them as people, we will never give in to any temptations.
5. There will always be trials that bring the feeling of hopelessness but we can always choose commitment as the answer. When we commit to each other, we will stay together even in the hardest of times. There are no problems that could break a fully committed relationship apart.

What is the keyword in all of these lessons? Choose. I believe that for a marriage to work, we have to choose our respective spouses every single moment. Choose to accept. Choose to tolerate. Choose to forgive. Choose to respect. Choose to commit. Choose to love. More importantly, I believe choosing is easier when we have God in our midst.

How about you? What do you think are the best ways to make a marriage last?

Was there a decision about your life you made because of people’s expectations? I guess most people do have at least one. I think I speak for most people when I say that it is pretty difficult not to allow the pressure and expectations of family and friends to affect you. It feels good to be appreciated, so we sometimes do things that make people appreciate us, even if they do not make us happy. 

While I can say that now, I do not easily succumb to the pressure that other people put upon me, it was not always the case in the past. I had taken significant steps before, caused by the strong insistence of others or their express disappointment with my desired choices. Not having much experience and knowledge made me gullible. Thankfully, I learned to deal with it as I grew older. No, the pressure and expectations are still there. They’re even more extraordinary than what I had when I was younger. They vary from career path to family life. If I allow myself to let them all in, I might go crazy with anxiety because then I would be pressuring myself. So, how do I manage it?

1. I assure myself that it is okay to journey at my own pace. Reminding myself that each person has their own pace and time is one of the best ways to keep me from overthinking. It eases my mind. I have to do my part, but I should never force things to happen. I trust the process. 
2. I do what I love and what I am passionate about. Following the path that leads to what I love or call to me makes me less mindful of other people’s pressure or expectations. Knowing that I am pursuing the course that I love makes it more meaningful and rewarding amidst all the challenges. It would just blur the disagreement of other people. 
3. I love what I do and am passionate about it. Making sure to always put my heart and soul into everything I do gives me no room for regret. Wholeheartedly embracing the beauty and flaws of the path I choose keeps me from thinking negatively.  
4. I never let the pressure get in my head. I acknowledge people when they pressure me to do something, but I condition myself not to let it sit in my mind and heart. I go back to the first step – assuring myself that it is okay to have my own pace. 
5. I never do something to satisfy other people’s expectations. When I do something, I always ask myself who I am doing it for. Is it because of the pressure? Is it because it’s what’s expected of me? Use their advice as guidance, but the decision should be based on your chosen path. 

We can never get rid of the pressure or the expectations of people. Neither can we deafen ourselves from them. Since these are some things we have no control over, we have to control how we deal with them instead. 

How about you? How do you deal with pressure and expectations?

(Photo by ANTONI SHKRABA) 

Who would have thought that I would use a topic in my blog about a feeling that my dog causes? Today, I was reminded of the difficulty of dealing with longing because of a decision we have to make concerning our dog.

This morning, I saw my wife crying, facing her computer while carrying our dog on her lap. She was crying silently, and when I asked her why, she sobbed even more and told me she was not willing to part with our dog. Since the possibility of conducting face-to-face training events has become higher, frequent travel is apparent. Hence the decision to leave our fur baby with my parents-in-law. 

Upon seeing her emotional state, I thought of how I usually cope with the feeling of longing or missing someone or something. Because of my chosen career path, I had a lot of experiences in the matter.  

My first ever experience was when I decided to leave my hometown to grow more in my career. I had to endure more than the difficulty of adapting to a new place – I had to take the longing I felt for my family and friends. Then, when I got married, I always had local and international travels because of my work and continuing education. Even just for a few days, being away from home never got easy. Getting over or dealing with such a feeling is never easy, but I found ways to endure. How?

1. I remind myself of the why. Remembering why I need to be away or leave gives me the energy to proceed after feeling down from loneliness. 
2. I socialize and get to know the people in my new surroundings. Acquainting myself with the people around me helps in lightening my mood. It always helps to know that there are people I can talk with and help take my mind away from the feeling of longing.
3. I usually develop a hobby that could give me joy. Entertaining myself with fun activities also helps me keep myself from constantly thinking of those that I miss. 
4. I ensure that communication is regular but not obsessive. Allotting time to update and check on loved ones really helps lessen the longing. Making sure that both parties agree on the timing of communications leaves little room for misunderstanding. 

While missing people, things, or places is an indicator of your love and care for them, you need to know how to deal with it so that it would not interfere with your productivity. 

This condition might not be serious for some, but it causes some people to give up on opportunities. Some cannot perform their work well. There are even those who cannot sleep nor eat well. So, I hope that the ways I enumerated here could help someone experiencing difficulty dealing with such feelings. 

How about you? How do you deal with the feeling of longing?

(Photo by Andrew Neel)

Two weeks ago, I accidentally broke a valuable item owned by my wife. After her initial reaction of shock with a hint of disappointment, she laughed and told me that she should be happy because it would be replaced with a new one. From then on, she bugged me about the replacement. However, since we have a busy schedule, we did not have the time to take care of it right away. She had no choice but to wait. After a few days, I observed how she became less invested in the notion of me replacing the item. Then, suddenly, she told me that she no longer wanted me to replace it. She just wanted to have it fixed instead. When I asked her the reason, she said that she was now over her confusion. The long wait allowed her to think clearly and concluded that having it fixed is more advantageous than getting a new one since she loves and values the said item. In addition to that, it is a more practical decision. 

When I thought about it, she actually went through all the following steps, which I, myself, observe when I face a confusing situation:

1. Take a breather. Taking a pause helps me clear my mind. It is the best first step to take when confused about something. You have to be aware that your emotions are high when you are in a state of confusion. Therefore, by stopping and refreshing your mind, you prevent yourself from making a rash decision that could lead to an undesirable result.
2. Avoid thinking about or listening to negative conjectures. Keeping a positive mind is very important. This step is also the supposed result after you take a breather. Once you have taken a moment to relax your mind, you have to maintain your relaxed state and veer away from thinking of negative possibilities. Aside from that, you have to steer clear of people who might infect you with their negative assumptions.  
3. Weigh your options. After ensuring that you are in the proper condition to make decisions, you can start thinking about the best action to take concerning the cause of your confusion. Being confused means that there are different choices. You got confused either because you have no idea what the options entail or because you like more than one of them. So, in a refreshed state of mind, carefully assess the different alternatives before you to identify which one is the best.  
4. Ask for advice/opinions/suggestions. Indeed, it is essential not to listen to other people’s negativities, but it is still vital for you to ask for other people’s views regarding your choice. Learn to ask the right people. Seek advice from those who encourage and inspire you. You must accept that confusing situations need more than one mind to assess and overcome.  
5. Strategize and plan for your next course of action. After finally deciding which option to choose, you start taking action towards your choice by planning. You still have to be careful and smart in your execution to ensure desirable outcomes. This step requires more of your patience.

As evidenced by the above anecdote, these steps could save you from regret, further disappointment, or heartache due to wrong decisions. My wife might not have intended it, but she followed all these steps and ended up choosing the best decision – having her valuable item fixed and asking me to buy a bigger one on her wish list (she used the yes-or-yes closing technique on me with this one!). 

What do you do when confusion strikes?

(Photo by Liviu Gorincioi)

Not everybody has goals. This is why many people cannot decide their directions. Not having goals does not necessarily mean having no dreams. I believe all of us have dreams; may they be plausible or unrealistic. Setting goals is an essential step to achieving your dreams, but getting worn out or waylaid is always a possibility, even when you are clear in your direction. 

In my journey, trials and tribulations keep popping here and there. Such challenges are sometimes almost impossible to overcome, and I would think I might not accomplish my goals. However, as I am constantly reminded that challenges are part of life, I embrace those challenging situations and keep moving forward with more and more determination. When I feel the situation is overwhelming, I make sure to keep myself motivated by:

1. Doing my best to have a positive attitude every day. The moment I wake up in the morning, I make a conscious effort to take on a positive attitude by counting what I am grateful for. In addition, when I encounter troubles along the way, I do not dwell on them but find solutions instead. 
2. Constantly reminding myself of my goals and mission. Thinking about the results I dream about never fails to lift my spirits when I feel exhausted or uninspired. So, I motivate myself to get up and keep going by reminding myself of my end goal. 
3. Keeping a record of my accomplishments. Besides setting the goals I have for the day, I record all that I have completed at the end of the day. These records help me get my mood up when I have a hard time when I look back on them. 
4. Celebrating each of my wins, big or small. Celebrating something good keeps me more excited. Marking success by celebrating them motivates me to work harder to achieve more victories.
5. Surrounding myself with people who support me in any way. Since being alone sometimes leads people to think negative thoughts, especially when having a hard time, I find support from the people around me not to be overwhelmed with the challenges. I ask for help and allow them to support me in whatever way. 

While it is a daunting task to realize goals, it is also not impossible as long as you have the determination to make them happen. Keeping yourself motivated is the best way to keep you on the journey toward success. 

How about you? How do you keep yourself motivated to achieve your goals?

(Photo by Suliman Sallehi)

In our life journey, we are constantly faced with situations where we need to choose. Such conditions vary – from selecting the right clothes to choosing the right career path. Choosing is not always as easy as breathing because even choosing clothes takes a lot of time. Hence, we sometimes ask other people’s opinions or suggestions. However, as sapient beings, we choose what we believe is correct at the end of the day. 

Knowing that you can make your own choice, how do you feel when people force you to choose a path you do not want to follow? Or choose a belief that you disagree with? Wouldn’t you feel disrespected? I know how to feel strongly about something, like a belief or a notion. You wish to influence others to believe in what you believe because you think it is the best or the right thing to do. Such feeling is okay, and making your beliefs known to others is also okay because we are free to do so. We have to remember that other people have the same freedom that we have. If you feel offended when someone mocks your choices, others feel the same way when you mock them. Before judging someone and their choices, try putting yourself in their shoes first. Each of us has reasons for behaving the way we do, for doing things, choosing, and any action that we do, so we have no right to judge each other. So, how should we properly help others make the best choice without disrespecting them?

1. Advocate for what you believe peacefully. Do not mock others’ beliefs by belittling them.
2. Be an embodiment of what you believe. Show other people the goodness that results from it.  
3. Encourage others to listen or know more about what you advocate but never force them. 
4. Separate your relationship with each other from your differences in beliefs. Learn to compartmentalize. Do not ambush them or make them feel cornered to listen to you.

There are no significant results that come from something that is forced. Learn to help others make the right choice in the right and peaceful way. If, in the end, they still choose the other way, learn to accept and respect them and their preferences.  

(Photo by Andres  Ayrton)

There is a time for everything. Wait. We are often required to wait in our lives, but we usually do not have the patience to endure. We consider waiting as an ordeal, not an opportunity that it is. Oh, did I say opportunity? Yes, for me waiting is an opportunity to grow and more. While waiting, why don’t you:

1. Do something productive. Occupying yourself with important tasks would make waiting worthwhile. You would not feel that you have wasted your time waiting for something. You might even thank yourself later for being productive while you still have the time, as what you are waiting for might lead you to be unable to do those tasks anymore, right? 
2. Enjoy other activities. Instead of sulking and attracting more negative emotions, you should channel your energy towards other activities that you enjoy to lighten your mood. 
3. Develop your knowledge and skills. When you are waiting for something that can be considered the next level, isn’t it better for you to be fully equipped? So, it would be a very appropriate use of time if you learn new things and develop your competencies while waiting so that you would be able to take on any challenges that come with the opportunity you desire. 
4. Be hopeful by making a plan. Making a plan before diving into a new adventure is a smart move. Though conditions may change along the way, having a plan or plans could help you overcome obstacles or challenges faster and more efficiently. By making a plan, you are also being positive that what you are waiting for is possible to happen. 
5. Be patient and let things unfold. Patience is a virtue. When you make it a rule to be patient, you also rid yourself of negativity. When you wait for something to happen, the only factor you control is yourself, while other factors should be allowed to happen on their own. Impatience might only lead to you doing things to hasten the process but end up spoiling everything. 

See? Waiting is not bad at all. It is an opportunity that brings many more opportunities in small and big packages. Yet, these opportunities might be blocked by the feelings of frustration, disappointment, and impatience of waiting. Therefore, change your perspective and look for the silver lining in the game of waiting.  

(Photo by MART PRODUCTION)

Are there times when you experience difficulty sleeping despite not having any physical pains? In the past, I also often experienced such affliction. It was very stressful for me because precious time was wasted, especially when I only had a few hours to spare for rest, given my hectic schedule. 

Later on, I introspected and realized the reason behind my poor sleeping conditions. After learning those reasons, I also asked some friends and family members if they also experienced the same, and I discovered that most people have five common reasons for experiencing such distress. 

1. There is the guilt for inadvertently hurting another person. Guilt is something that affects me and some of the people I asked. When I close my eyes, I suddenly get reminded of an offense I did towards another person, even unintentionally. My mind gets filled with thoughts about how that person might be feeling about me after what I did or how I could make it up to them. I would then start regretting and rebuking myself for my actions.
2. There is anxiety about the future or unknown danger. Most of my friends and family members talked about how their thoughts are plagued with worst-case scenarios. They suddenly think about the possibility of losing someone or something. 
3. There is a shame about a past mistake, may it be an action or decision. Yes. Many people are usually disturbed by shame or regret of an action or decision that caused embarrassment or disappointment. 
4. There is anger towards someone. Some would remember the people who caused them pain or other negative emotions when they close their eyes. When they are no longer occupied with other things, they retain their feelings and think more about them.
5. There is frustration regarding an unsolved problem. Unresolved problems tend to keep people from sleeping peacefully. They tend to worry about the possibility of it worsening or not getting resolved. 

Have you noticed something common about each of the above reasons? Yes, these are all caused by the people concerned – me and my guilt, other people and their anxiety, shame, anger, or frustration.

So how can lack of sleep be treated when one has these thoughts or feelings? The answer is in ourselves. We have to remind ourselves not to dwell on things out of our control. What is done is done. We cannot alter the past, nor can we do something about any problem that has not happened yet. Always be present. More importantly, we must remember that there is a time for everything. 

What are your thoughts on this?

(Photo by Sofia Alejandra)

Wow! Indeed, time flies when we are having fun. I can’t believe that it has been exactly four years since Elevate Results Training and Consulting officially started. Why am I enjoying it despite the challenges? Because I am fulfilling my mission in life. I know this is what I am called to do. 

A friend once expressed her hesitation to me about this path I chose. She told me that she’s worried for my sake because I might reach a point where I’d regret it. Her anxiety was not without reason. We were both aware of people who were once highly driven to follow their dream paths but quit or failed. It was indeed a precarious decision to leave employment and become an independent sales trainer instead. But, I told her what I told myself and others, that if I let my fears hinder me, it would be impossible for me to pursue my mission in life.  

There was a time when I questioned my decision and felt down because, at that time, no one wanted to work with me. What did I do? I did not quit; I persisted. Within the 48 months that I have been doing what I do, I can say that I have come a long way because of these ten reasons:

1. I put God at the center of my life. He is the Author of everything. Through Him, I always obtain total peace of mind and peace of heart. I am nothing without Him.
2. I live my purpose and fulfill my mission. It is the reason why I do what I do. Because of this, it makes my life and career more meaningful, fulfilling, and productive.
3. I listen to my wife every single day. She’s my best critic and encourager. She always sees my strengths and weaknesses in life and wants only the best for me. Because of her, I improve inch by inch and day by day.
4. I take the advice of my family and friends. They show genuine support and care, particularly for my health, growth, and life in general. Because of them, I keep moving and doing the right thing no matter what.
5. I work with my mentors.  They show support and encouragement to continue what I do for people. Because of them, I  achieve the goals I have in life.
6. I work with committed teammates. They care, support, and believe in my mission. Because of them, we served more than 15 thousand sales, and business professionals became the best version of themselves.
7. I build long-term relationships with our existing valued clients. These relationships bring me fulfillment and satisfaction in what I do. Because of this kind of connection, many of them became my friends.
8. I focus on my One Thing every single day. This helps lead me to where I want to be. Because of my One Thing, I always feel organized and focused on what I want to do and achieve every day.
9. I choose to be consistent in inspiring people. Because of this, I feel complete that I fulfilled my mission and made other people feel blessed, motivated, and inspired to live life to the fullest.
10. I always feel grateful for all the blessings, big and small, and celebrate them. Every time I appreciate and acknowledge my wins, I always feel happy and blessed. Because of this, I attract non-stop blessings in my life.

So here I am celebrating with joy and gratitude the 1,461 days of living my mission precisely on my 36th birthday. There is not an ounce of regret in me for walking this path. I am equally thankful for the challenges I faced and overcame because of this as I am for the blessings. When you ask me where I see myself in the next 1,461 days, I can confidently say that I am still on this path, moving forward as usual with a smile. 

Are you also on a path that leads you to your mission in life? How do you feel about it?

We encounter different types of difficulties as we live our life day by day. We acknowledge them as part of life, but we only see them as something negative. As a result, we usually feel down when we encounter them. 

It would be a lie if I said that I don’t feel down every time I experience a challenge or what people would call a problem because I do. Among all the negative emotions I feel each time a difficulty arises, worry is the most distinctive. I usually get worried about whether I could overcome such a circumstance or not. I acknowledge that I feel such feelings, but I always do my best not to dwell on them so that I can rationally think and find solutions. On top of that, I want to go back to having a happy and healthy disposition to avoid attracting more problems. Therefore, every time I am dealing with difficulties, I do the following:

1. I count each of my blessings, big and small. The hardships I experience become insignificant when I realize all the good things I have. As a result, I start to feel better. 
2. I rid myself of the victim mentality. It is common for people to blame their problems on other people. Even if there are instances when other people cause my difficulties, I make an effort within myself not to blame them. Instead, I assess my shortcomings to avoid them in the future. Doing this helps me feel better than getting stuck feeling offended. 
3. I focus on making myself and my situation better. This is the best course of action when one is faced with any challenges. Since we know that difficulties are part of life, we should know that we can overcome them, and it is up to us how to do so.  
4. I remind myself that hardships make me stronger. I always feel better when I remind myself how previous experiences, good and bad, have helped me to become a better, stronger, and more resilient person. Therefore, when I encounter another obstacle, I remind myself of that fact again for me to see the silver lining. 
5. I do my best to be a blessing to others and lighten their loads. Seeing other people smile never fails to warm my heart. Since I know how it feels to experience hard times, I do my best to alleviate other people’s burdens even while I am experiencing the same. In this way, I still feel happy and blessed for being able to make others happy and blessed. 

Do you find it difficult to maintain happiness when faced with difficulties? Try following the tips above. 

(Photo by Kat Smith from Pexels)

Remember last week when I had to deal with the results of a broken laptop? Well, here’s the unexpected continuation of the story. 

Last week, after contemplating what model to replace my laptop with and how to recover the important files stored there successfully, I had the sudden urge to check it from the laptop bag. My words to my wife were, “Let me check it. Maybe there’ll be a miracle.” My wife just chuckled. When I opened it and pressed the power button, we suddenly heard the miraculous power-on sound. My wife and I let out surprised gasps. We couldn’t believe our ears and eyes. The laptop that has been diagnosed as crashed has come back to life. I was so happy that time and was quite dumbfounded too. How is it possible? I kept talking about how unbelievable it was with my wife and my team to the point when my wife playfully reprimanded me that I did not need to repeat the statement a million times since she heard it the first time. Could you blame me, though? I was just overcome with joy and relief because I could finally retrieve my files. Even after a few hours after I experienced this miracle, I still couldn’t believe that I was using the actual laptop I hoped to be fixed. I smiled every time I stared at it and enjoyed every task I did with it like it was the first time.

When I pondered on it a few hours after, I attributed the happening to the miracle bag. I am not talking about the laptop bag where I stored the device. I am talking about the miracle bag that I think is kept for us, and the contents are showered upon us for when we least expect them but when we need them most. When we experience them, we immediately acknowledge them as miracles. Cynical people may say it has logical or scientific explanations. It could be accurate, but there are times when we have exhausted our options to solve the seemingly impossible challenge that we give up, and the resolution is just presented to us right there and then.

Whenever I experience situations like this, I am reminded of the saying, “When you get to your wit’s end, you will find God lives there.” I truly believe that God makes His presence known at times like this for us to remember that we can’t do it on our own and teach us important lessons. That is why I don’t wish to find logical nor scientific explanations to such phenomena because I want to revel in the blessing that God always gives. Through his blessings, He offers lessons as well. 

Do you remember the lessons I’ve learned from this experience? Yes, I took action right away and applied the lessons I had learned. I saved everything in an external drive and cloud. I did not waste the miracle. 

Have you experienced any miracles lately?

This year, one of our most awaited events is the Closing the Sales Mastery Intensive Training. Since January, we have been conducting a series of preview training sessions for salespeople from the insurance and real estate industries. Last week, we were successfully able to run the said event online. Though, when viewed by attendees who were not part of the team, the sessions seemed smooth-flowing, our preparations were contrary to smooth. 

A day before the big event, the laptop computer I relied on for everything, from simple tasks to heavy use (such as zoom calls), suddenly stopped working. I did not know what to do at first. All I did was stare at it for the longest time and pray for it to turn on. 

For someone who had been preparing for a significant event, that situation was nightmarish. One would simply advise me to use a different device to offer a solution, right? It shouldn’t be a challenging feat. However, besides the fact that I am not adept at using a different device since I had that laptop computer, all my important documents for the training are saved there. I did not even bother to have a backup anywhere else. Wow! I know, I was too confident. 

But, how come the training event still proceeded and ended successfully? I conditioned myself to accept the situation and moved to solve the challenge. The first thing I did was to have my device fixed. I visited the maintenance service and hoped that it would get fixed. Unfortunately, it didn’t turn out to be the favor I hoped for. Since it still did not work, I decided to use a different device, learned how to use it, and created the files I needed for the training again. Despite the time constraints, I was able to complete the preparations. 

Though I would never wish to experience the same difficult situation again, I am grateful for that learning and testing opportunity. First, I realized that I should always have a backup plan and not rely on what I am used to. Second, I was able to practice what I always preach – do not stress about situations that are out of your control. More importantly, I have been reminded by this situation of how important it is to pull oneself up and keep moving forward.

Have you had any testing or learning opportunities lately? What are your takeaways from it? 

(Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels)

Every single day, there is one thing I always hope to have and never lose as the day progresses – my enthusiasm. The moment I wake up in the morning, I follow a daily routine that could set the enthusiastic mood up in me. I love to work, therefore, I am mostly happy and excited when I am doing tasks, from routine to unexpected. I have observed that I only feel exhausted when I am done with my tasks and my body and mind are at rest. 

Tasks do not negatively affect my enthusiasm. They only make me become more energetic. However, when I receive bad news that affects me or get into a misunderstanding with other people, my mood goes down and in turn affects my entire day’s work. How? Here’s one example from the past.

One morning, I woke up early as usual and performed my daily morning routine with my team and valued clients. Naturally, this activity put me in high spirits. While having breakfast, I received an update from someone that she wouldn’t be able to fulfill her promise. It was a very important matter. I shared the news with my wife, who got disappointed and kind of lectured me about it. So the initially amicable conversation turned into an argument why I trusted the person without consulting her and so on. It ended in silencing each other the entire day. Although I continued with my tasks as usual, I noticed a difference in the way I worked that day. My enthusiasm to work swooped several notches down, and my thought process was not as smooth as it normally was. In addition, during my training that night, I was not at my 100%. I was not able to fully establish a connection with my participants. I wasn’t in a great mood and it showed. I wasn’t even capable of inserting jokes in my talk. Inadvertently, I infected other people, my tasks, and my entire day with my sour mood. Thus, I had that one bad day. In fact, I’ve had one too many of those bad days and some of them were caused by simple things that affected my mood. 

My resolution to this personal challenge is to remind myself of the consequences when I get carried away by my emotions. I ask myself, should I allow this one thing to turn my whole day into a bad one?  I have been reminded, time and time again, that we can’t control other people’s behavior or actions. What we can control is how we respond to the situation. 

Do you agree?

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It is a well-known fact that passion is energy. In other words, passion brings out the energy from the inside of an individual. More personality traits are developed because of the energy that passion unleashes from a person. The characteristics developed in each person vary depending on what they are passionate about. 

Such is my realization when reflecting on the person I have become. I realized that because of my passion for my mission in life, I developed the following personality traits:

1. Courageous/Confident. My confidence was not at its peak, given past circumstances that hindered my ability to develop my knowledge and skills and reach my full potential as a student. So, how did I suddenly develop it? As I matured, I understood that it would not be possible for me to achieve my goal in life if I kept myself on the sidelines and waited for luck. The passion in my heart to pursue excellence was like a niggling feeling that seemed to be unending unless I took action. Because of it, I developed the courage to pursue my dream. Because of that courage, I employed ways to become a better version of myself and muster confidence.   
2. Optimistic/Enthusiastic. I am primarily positive in my thoughts and actions with passion within me. I find that I am not easily discouraged by untoward happenings or undesirable conditions. Instead, I look at problems as opportunities to hone my thinking skills and other abilities, which would serve me well in my quest for excellence. My optimism is evident in my enthusiasm to overcome my challenges. 
3. Resilient/Adaptable. As one of the results of my optimism, I have developed resilience. When afflicted with difficulties, I would stand up right away and continue my journey even when subjected to new conditions. I believe that my passion keeps me patient and accepting of whatever situations as long as I fulfill my mission. 
4. Creative/Innovative. If I were not passionate, I would just easily give up on my journey when there are obstacles along the way. But because of it, I developed creativity and innovativeness that enabled me to find ways through or around the challenges presented to me. 
5. Risk-Taker/Adventurous. Yes, I developed an adventurous spirit and became a risk-taker because of my passion. Knowing that I could not grow to the fullest if I stayed in my comfort zone, I decided to go all out and invest my resources to learn and develop myself.

Every time I look back, I am always amazed by how far my passion took me. It defeated my inadequacies, insecurities, and wrong beliefs and led me to the path of success. I think it is safe to say that anyone can do anything with passion. Do you agree?

(Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels)

Without a doubt, many people around the world are successful or claim to be successful because of their acquired wealth and fame. Yet, many of these people are also unhappy with their personal lives. Unfortunately, they are just successful money-wise or career-wise. Those just looking from the outside might wonder why they are unhappy despite their fortune. Some know what these successful people gave up to acquire their current status. 

To avoid unhappiness in the future, one should never sacrifice any of the following on their quest for success:

1. Family and other relationships. Without the people you love and who love you, how can you possibly enjoy the fruits of your success? There will be no one to cheer you on, celebrate your win, and share with your joy. Therefore, it is essential to always give time to your loved ones despite the demands of your professional life. Never allow yourself to think that the time you spend with them is a waste of time. 
2. Health. Most people forget the importance of health and that one should always make an effort to take care of themselves holistically. How can you possibly enjoy the fruits of your labor if you are sick? Always remember to keep oneself healthy amidst the pressure.  
3. Self (Values). A person’s values make up a significant part of their being. Yet, many people willingly forget about this aspect of themselves when presented with easier ways toward success. Would you not feel any guilt if you achieved a goal by hurting other people in the process? Remember that you can never be truly happy when you have lost yourself and hurt many people in your life.

While you are still on your journey to success, you may feel that these things are unimportant, and your target success should be your only concern. But, believe it or not, when success is at your grasp, you will look for the things you have lost and can no longer hold. By then, you will realize that nothing matters at all without those. You lost who you are, who you love, what you believe. Would you consider yourself successful if you lost any of these aspects of yourself? 

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The most common expression of love is gift-giving. Do you agree? We go out of our way to secure gifts for the people we love during special occasions such as birthdays, Christmas, and valentines. I believe the reasoning behind the act is to make our loved ones feel special and loved. I, for one, love giving gifts every once in a while. But, I usually express my love for the people I care about through the following:

1. Encouragement. Whatever challenges or life stages a loved one goes through, I do my best to encourage through positive words and motivation. I believe the knowledge that someone is cheering them on could help keep their morale up and strengthen their courage. 
2. Appreciation. Knowing that they are appreciated for who they are or what they do means so much to most people. Just like words of encouragement, appreciation may serve as fuel to strive harder and move further. So, I make it a habit to tell the people I love and care about that I appreciate them as often as possible.   
3. Service. If performing a task to alleviate another person’s stress or lessen their burden is not the best expression of love, I do not know what is. Despite having a lot on my plate, I always try to help a loved one (usually my wife) with their tasks. 
4. Time. With a usually busy schedule, time is the most limited resource. Despite my struggle to fit all the tasks in my waking time, I always do my best to spend time with my loved ones, even just online. It is my way of letting them know they are not alone.
5. Knowledge. Since I am a lifelong learner, I always acquire new knowledge and skills from training events and other learning materials to grow and develop as a person and trainer. Whenever I experience a significant change from applying my learning, I do my best to impart my knowledge to the people I love so that they may also experience it.  

Whether my loved ones feel my love and care through these expressions or not, I am not sure. What I know is that when other people give any of these to me, I feel special, cared for, and loved. 

How about you? How do you express love to other people?

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The beginning of this year proved to be quite eventful for me. With just one month in, I have already experienced and witnessed many memorable situations, both good and bad. Nonetheless, all conditions have afforded me these lessons that could benefit me for a lifetime.

1. Any person can cause another person’s ruin, even with the best of intentions. This case is prevalent in close relationships such as family and friendship. Sometimes, when we care too much about a loved one, we tend to become overbearing, thinking that we know what is best for them. We tend to impose our will on how they should run their lives, what path they should follow, and who to become. Despite our good intentions, there is a high possibility of us making them farther from the best version of themselves, from their full potential, and from the bright future they wanted for themselves than doing them good. Therefore, let us be reminded to support our loved ones by helping them get what they want and not what we want for them. 
2. A judgmental person may always see something to criticize from even the kindest or best people. This justifies the advice we always hear to never mind about the opinions of others. While it is our duty to form relationships with other people and serve our fellowmen, we are not expected nor obliged to please everyone. We should only remember to perform our roles and responsibilities and never cause harm to others, but never give up ourselves and our values just to satisfy everyone. 
3. It is never right to judge a person. Judging others and reacting to their slight towards us or another person commonly follow the ire we feel. More often than not, when our minds are clearer, and the conditions are brought to light, we regret ever verbalizing those judgments. Therefore, we should not ever judge other people prematurely or not. First, we don’t know what they’re going through or what caused them to be or act the way they did. Most importantly, we don’t have the right to judge anyway. It should never be our business to judge other people, especially since we are not without faults ourselves.  

After witnessing the consequences that led to my realizations of these lessons, I became sure that we only truly understand the value of a lesson when we experience or witness the negative outcome when we do not apply it and the positive results when we do. 

What life lessons have you been reminded of this year?

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Years ago, I had a conversation with a close friend, and he asked me if I am always happy. The question caught me off guard. I could not say yes because I realized I am not always in the best disposition. I am not always happy. Later that night, I thought about the question again and reflected. Why am I not always happy? What were the reasons for not being happy in those moments? I recounted some instances and got these answers:

1. When I think about other people’s comments. Though I know that it is unwise and unhelpful to dwell on comments of other people that are not constructive in the least, I still tend to be affected by them. Fortunately, through time, I learn to only allow my mood to be momentarily influenced by them. Now, I see to it that I use those comments to make myself better instead.
2. When I think about other people’s superiority over me. I am well aware of my weaknesses as a person, and these weaknesses sometimes cause me to feel insecure about myself. “Is it possible for someone like me to achieve such a big goal or fulfill my mission with these weaknesses? If only I were as rich as this person, or as creative as this artist.” These thoughts of comparing myself with others never fail to cause me unhappiness.  
3. When I think about my past mistakes. Sometimes, when I am idle, I tend to remember wrong decisions, embarrassing moments, and failures from recent memory to even a distant past. These moments of recollection make me doubt myself and sometimes bring about feelings of regret. 
4. When I think about what I do not have. I fail to see the things, big and small, that I am blessed with when I focus on what I do not have. Thus, I become unsatisfied and, in turn, unhappy. 

By then I realized that, as a whole, my unhappiness is a result of a wrong mindset and focus. I caused it myself. It is not elicited by other people, things, places, or situations though technically, my negative thoughts are about them, caused by them, or directed to them. But, there it is. The problem is me with the way I think. I should not have any business minding what other people say about me when I am not hurting other people. I should not think of myself as less than others when I have the choice to make myself better. I should not dwell in the past and fret over what I did wrong when I learned important lessons because of my mistakes. I should count my blessings and strive harder to be worthy of what I long to acquire or achieve. 

Do you also have thoughts like these? What else makes you unhappy?

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LIFE IS UNFAIR. That was what a close friend of mine used to tell me when we talked about our experiences and all the challenges that came with them. I understand why she felt that way. That is common to people whose experiences in life are mostly riddled with problems, losses, rejections, or betrayals. Their view of the world would most likely be forever marred. More often than not, they would become cynical, mistrustful, and pessimistic. 

Given all the difficulties I had gone through since I was young, “life is unfair” could definitely be my motto. In fact, I also used to think that life was kind of unfair because I only saw my own struggles then. Gradually, I turned away from that belief. The circumstances I found myself in, during and after each challenge I faced, convinced me otherwise.

How can I say that life is unfair when I got no sales for many months after joining the sales team when that was the reason I developed my persistence to work more and learn from the best teachers? If I just reach the quota set each time, then I wouldn’t have the drive to develop myself to become a better salesperson. 

Can I say life is unfair when I got my heart broken repeatedly when those failed relationships allowed me to meet the love of my life at the right time? I say life brings us just what we need. It developed my patience through the different points in my life when I got stuck in waiting for my turn to be proven worthy of promotion, new responsibilities, and my own training firm. If I did not experience situations when I made a one day meal budget reach two more days, I possibly wouldn’t be keen on money management now and might not think about saving or investing for the future.   

Now, when faced with a difficult situation, I look at the bright side. Yes, it is cliche but that is the only best way to view things , good or bad. When we do so, we trust that we are being strengthened or being led to a much better condition. Don’t you think you’re not hindering yourself from becoming a better person or from a brighter future by running away from challenges?

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At the start of 2022, I was on a roller coaster of emotions – I was happy and a bit disheartened at the same time. I was delighted because we spent almost the entire month of December and the first week of January with families and friends whom we could not meet physically in nearly two years due to the travel restrictions. I never expected a typhoon to ravage our place while we were away from our Cebu home. We were so worried, yet we did our best to enjoy the limited time we had with family. Though it was difficult due to the circumstance, I started the year in the way I knew was right.

First and foremost, I celebrated with loved ones. Celebrating the start of a new year has never been so wonderful as this year because we all felt more grateful than ever for new beginnings, family gatherings, and life as a whole. We all took time to enjoy preparing, share experiences, and savor the moment and all that came with it. I put all my worries and thoughts about work away and enjoyed every moment of our celebration.

Second, I let go of negative emotions and assumed a positive attitude. Letting go and such was not that easy. It took a conscious effort on my part. In other words, I decided to do them and took action. I identified the emotions weighing me down and led me to become unproductive, then actively chose to assume a more positive attitude. It is a decision I have taken every day since.

Third, I appreciated my wins from the previous year. This helped me have a positive mindset – counting small and big successes. I deem it beneficial to remember all that I have accomplished because being reminded of all the wins usually boosts my confidence in myself, which is one of the most important things I need to face the new goals ahead.

Fourth, I sat and wrote my goals for the year. This is one of my irrevocable traditions when welcoming the new year because I believe that if I do not write it down, I would more likely forget about my goal. Seeing my goals on paper and visualizing the process motivate me to work for them and make them happen. This technique works for me and has served me well these past few years.

Last, I made a plan on how to achieve my goals. Writing them down makes it easier for me to devise strategies to make my goals happen. Writing my plans down is as essential to me as writing down my goals because these writings would serve as reminders for when I forget or get confused about what to do next.

Following all these allowed me to focus on what’s more important. These diverted my attention from dwelling on the inconveniences brought by the calamity. Now, despite the slow pace, we have gradually accomplished the tasks we set ourselves to do to achieve our goals for the year.

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We get a lot of advice on handling failures or mistakes, but we seldom hear advice on how to handle wins or successes. We also learn different knowledge and skills to achieve our goals in life, but we usually don’t get past the achieving part. We fail to celebrate the win. Although it is important to note to never rest on our laurels and work still because success is not a one-time thing, we have to pause for a while and appreciate the factors that led to our recent success. 

First, make sure to consciously and expressly appreciate your capability and gifts. Appreciation is something that most, if not all, humans need. We do not only need to hear it from other people; we also need to hear it from ourselves. We have to acknowledge that we can overcome challenges, execute plans, and succeed. More importantly, we have to recognize the talents and gifts we are blessed with that make us capable of winning. No success is possible out of pure luck or coincidence.   

Second, express your gratitude to the people who helped you. Just as we can’t attribute successes to luck, we can’t attribute our successes to ourselves alone. In one way or another, some people paved the way for us to get what we are aiming for, whether they were aware of it or not. Therefore, never forget to tell them how grateful you are for their contribution. A grateful heart attracts more blessings. 

Third, offer your help for others to succeed as well. Success is felt best when shared. Never keep your knowledge from other people who may benefit from it when you succeed. When people you helped get what they want, the feeling of fulfillment on your end will be greater than when you have achieved what you wanted. 

Fourth, take time to celebrate in any way you can. However small you think your wins are, never stop yourself from celebrating them. Celebrate each success through an arm-pulling-down shout of yes, a jump of joy, a cheer, a piece of cake, or an all-out party; it’s up to you. Celebrating is a form of gratitude.

Last, keep learning, growing, and moving forward. While it is essential to rest and celebrate, never forget to act again on your following goals afterward. Own the confidence you gain from the competence you developed while working on your previous successes, but never allow it to inflate your ego and make you refuse to learn new things. Always remember to feed yourself with good things and grow. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck in the past.  

Do you think these pieces of advice make sense? How do you handle success?

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Do you agree that no man is an island? I do. Human beings are social beings; therefore, we find it challenging to live alone, however possible it might seem for some. Besides co-existing, we need to form deeper bonds with the people around us. We need to establish relationships aside from those that we are born into. 

1. To go through life, we need more than ourselves. Can you imagine facing all the challenges of life without someone to encourage you to continue moving forward? To lend a helping hand when you become overwhelmed? Or to guide you to the right path when you go astray? We need family and friends to help us go through life and enjoy it. We also need to help them go through their lives and fulfill our roles. 
2. To belong, we need to be a part of another person’s life or a group of people, for that matter. The sense of belongingness is innate to us humans. We are genetically programmed to be part of a whole, so we are gifted with different talents. When we do not build relationships and even distance ourselves from our own family, we deprive ourselves of our need to belong and deprive others of their need for our gifts.  
3. To learn and grow, we need to engage with other people. Each of us has different characteristics, personalities, and experiences. We can all learn from each other because of such differences. We get to motivate ourselves because of other people’s successes and learn from their mistakes.

Some people say that they made it through life on their own, especially when they did not receive any financial support from other people, but they discounted the people’s moral support. Our relationships keep us going when the going gets tough. They may seem inconsequential, but the little things that these people do for us might have been the push for us to move towards the future rather than staying stuck in the past. 

How are your relationships with your family and friends? Have you told them you are grateful for them?

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When we are too busy, we fail to appreciate the things around us, especially the little things. We think that there is nothing more important than our work or life responsibilities. We tend to forget about other aspects of our life, like our health or well-being. We tend to put our work and other people’s needs above ours. We have to know that resting or recuperating and enjoying ourselves is essential. We can’t possibly do well with our responsibilities and in helping others if we are exhausted. We have to take a vacation, and when doing so, we have to be on vacation as well – body, mind, and soul. We have to make sure to be in the moment at all times. Here are rules that I impose upon myself when I go on vacation:

1. Avoid thinking about other things such as work. When you think of your concerns about work or other problems during a vacation, you ultimately ruin it and defeat the purpose of such an occasion.
2. Engage in activities that you enjoy. If you are forced to do activities that aren’t enjoyable for you, you will not relieve yourself from stress. You go on a vacation to do good for your well-being and not bring more stress and unhappiness into your life.
3. Lessen your social media engagement. One of the reasons behind people’s tendency to always seem preoccupied and busy is the non-stop social media use and engagement. When on break, we tend to make it a habit to use social media and other gadgets to pass the time rather than engage in other social activities or use the time to rest. How can we appreciate our vacation if we fall into this habit?
4. Enjoy and appreciate your surroundings. Looking around and appreciating the little things around you is a primary key in ensuring an enjoyable vacation. You can find joy by just looking around you and revelling in the beauty that you don’t get to see every day. The change in scenery will refresh your mind.
5. Give your body an equal amount of rest. Getting yourself cranky because of lack of rest will not help you thoroughly enjoy yourself. A tired body does not allow you to have fun. After all, rest is the main reason we need a vacation.

We don’t need expensive trips to enjoy a vacation. We can just go somewhere that offers peace and away from all the hustle and bustle of your everyday life. Wherever you go, just make sure to enjoy it, and the time off will be worth it. 

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Success is not an overnight thing, and it is not accidental. Successful people got to where they are because of the efforts and skills that they developed over time. There may be a lot of other factors that lead them to their successes, but the personal factors play vital roles. 

As I watched the many successful people I know, I have observed similarities that I could say immensely helped them reach their successes. One of the factors I see is their good habits. What are these habits? 

1. They prioritize. One of the most distinguishing habits of a successful person is prioritization. They identify their one thing every single day, the most important thing to focus on, then they ensure never to allow themselves to be distracted. They only move on to the next task once they have completed their top priority. They know that working on two or more tasks simultaneously or thinking about other things while faced with a different task would more likely lead to mistakes or incompletion. 
2. They take action. There is not one successful person I have known that is not a doer. They are all action-takers. They are not passive. Whether they face complicated or straightforward challenges, they do not stop working or finding a solution. They may doubt the type of action they should take, but they have no doubts about taking a step forward. They ask for help, but they do not wait for other people to do something or solve the problem for them. 
3. They continue learning. One win does not stop a successful person from growing or accomplishing more. They do not rest on their laurels and remain where they are. Instead, a successful person continues to learn to grow more and achieve more. Successful people continue to equip themselves with knowledge and skills for them to achieve their goals in life. They believe that the more they learn, the more they grow. And the more they grow, the more they can help others too.
4. They learn from their mistakes. Committing mistakes is not a big deal with them. They know that every master was once a disaster. They understand that it is part of the process. Nobody is perfect. All successful people have stories to tell how they overcome their mistakes after experiencing them. A successful person does not shy away from it. They accept the fact that they made mistakes, then assess where they went wrong. Afterward, they try again and make sure never to commit the same mistakes again and again. In other words, the more they commit errors, the more they improve inch by inch.
5. They assume a positive attitude. Success is positive. Besides effort, skills, and other factors, it requires personal belief for it to be achieved. A successful person believes that success is possible despite the odds. What a person thinks and speaks, they attract. That is why successful people always think positively and speak life even when faced with many challenges. 

We all have different ideas on how to achieve the success we are aiming for. To each their own, as they say. Many successful people around the world may have different habits and different quirks. These habits, though, are what I found common among them. Do you think this observation is accurate? 

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Life is an everyday battle that could easily sway a struggling person towards negativity. This daily battle could lead one to give up, go with the flow, and stop struggling altogether because doing so would be easier after all. 

There is no telling who tends to succumb to such surrender. There are people who never experienced anything strenuous for most of their life that when they start to experience difficulty, they will tend to give up right away. There are also those who have experienced many challenges already that they begin to think of everything as too much, so they eventually give up, no longer believing there is hope for them to experience comfort. 

However, life would not be as beautiful to live if it were all easy, with flowers and rainbows through and through. It won’t even be appreciated as much if there are no difficulties that come with it. Success is sweeter when it has been fought hard for. 

However, it is understandable to feel hopeless when the circumstances become too much to handle when things don’t seem to work out the way we want them to when problems arise. It becomes tiring, and sometimes it seems that the most logical way is to give it up and let things be. I’ve had my fair share of such feelings, but when I’ve almost convinced myself to give up, I am reminded of the following:

1. My dreams (mission). When I think about my dreams, I remember that I am a man with a mission. I have a mission that is bigger than my comforts. If I give up, I wouldn’t be able to materialize such dreams. I wouldn’t be able to fulfill my purpose in life. 
2. Previous wins or experiences. When I think about my previous accomplishments, I remember that I am capable of winning and overcoming challenges again and again. I remember that the sense of fulfillment outweighs the pain caused by the struggles. I remember that every battle is worth it, after all. 
3. Other people’s experiences. When I feel like giving up, I think of the people who kept on even when rejections and failure came more often than they can count until success came. I realize that if I give up now, I might only lack one more step and that my initial efforts would be in vain. 
4. People who look up to me (believe in me, love me). I decided to be a trainer and coach because my mission is to help other people achieve excellence in sales and life in general. When I feel like giving up, I think of the people I serve whom I push to always give their 100% effort in what they do. When I think of them, I remember that I have people who need my example. I remember that if I give up, I am failing myself and also failing and risking the dreams and hopes of the people who believe in me.  
5. Acceptance of life’s uncertainty (yo-yo of life). When I remember that life is uncertain and that it is uncertain for everyone, not only for me, I become less hard on myself. By accepting this reality, I become more resilient instead of easily giving up. 

These reasons might not be enough for some to hold on when they are on the brink of giving up, but let these serve as examples that we can find ways to keep on keeping on. We may find that life is a battle, but we are given the ability to win it. Since life is a battle, we should fight it with all that we’ve got every day. Reminding ourselves of why we should not give up when overwhelmed with challenges is one way to fight the battle. 

What are your reasons for fighting your battle and never giving up?

Does having high self-esteem equate to being narcissistic? Thinking that you are superior to others and not accepting making mistakes are signs of narcissism. On the other hand, having self-esteem means respecting yourself and believing in your abilities.

When you boost your self-esteem, you are helping yourself grow as a person. Never allow other people to tell you otherwise and label you as self-centered. How are you going to boost your self-esteem? Here are some tips that work for me when I doubt myself. 

1. Appreciate your strengths. The very first thing you need to do is value the blessings you already have. You might not have what others do, but you have your strengths. 
2. Celebrate your wins. Celebrating your successes will keep you reminded of the strengths and blessings you have. Knowing that there are upsides in life will keep you have a positive attitude and make you confident that things will always get better.   
3. Keep on developing yourself. Of course, developing your self-esteem is not only a matter of believing in yourself and your strengths, but you also need to help yourself to develop further. Knowing that you have equipped yourself with more knowledge and skills will give you an appreciation of yourself. 
4. Remember your past wins. There are times when nothing seems to go right with whatever you do. Inadvertently, it affects your self-esteem because most people tend to get fixated on mistakes even if they’re minimal than the successes. When you encounter situations like this, look back on the things that you accomplished in the past, may they be big or small. 
5. Embrace the fact that nobody is perfect. No person is perfect, and one who thinks he can be is narcissistic. When we accept the fact that we have weaknesses, we learn to appreciate our strengths more. In addition to that, we also become more motivated to develop ourselves further. 

These tips are ways we can do for ourselves to boost our self-esteem. With focus and determination, we can do these for ourselves. However, we cannot discount the outside elements that may affect us, like other people’s opinions. Although these challenges are difficult to overcome, we also have the control not to allow ourselves to be brought down by such negative elements. Do you agree with these tips?

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Throughout my younger years, I had been led to believe that claiming a positive outcome ahead is like inviting the opposite to happen. Because of that belief, I developed the fear of voicing out my goals and dreams for the future, lest I attract opposing forces that would sabotage my chances of reaching those objectives. I silently prayed for my plans to happen, but I never said them out loud. I just kept them to myself.

Back then, I only depended on the knowledge of my elders to guide me through life. Just like most of the children of my generation, I was never one who questioned authority. Yet, as I grew older and got the chance to access more sources of knowledge, I discovered that my belief was farther from the truth. I have summed up the knowledge I learned in favor of keeping a positive attitude in life. 

1. What we think and say, we attract. Contrary to my early belief about jinxing the outcome of what I hoped for if I get ahead of myself, thinking and speaking positive words can give you the energy that can dispel negative energies that could prevent a positive outcome. 
2. What we feed ourselves, we allow to nourish our hearts. Positive words are like healthy food for our hearts like negative words are like poison. If we keep on feeding ourselves with positivity instead of doubts, fears, and other toxic emotions, we would probably flourish through our journey in life.
3. What we imagine, we conjure. If we always think or talk about the result we hope for; we are subconsciously conditioning our mind and all parts of our body to act in such a way that would make things happen rather than prevent them from happening. When we think or speak negatively, then we are likely sabotaging ourselves. 
4. When we are positive, we become problem solvers. Instead of wasting our time dreading the outcome, we gravitate towards finding a solution or an alternative that we could take. Dreading results from negative self-talk and mindset, while taking action is the result of having a positive outlook. 

Amidst all these, we need to remember that being optimistic does not equate to being unrealistic. Does it mean we should not accept negative results? Of course not. We hope and work for the best outcome, but we accept, make plans, and try again when it does not happen. Isn’t being positive better than being bitter? 

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When I was younger, I used to be unkind to myself. I tended to think less of myself because of the weaknesses I acknowledged that I have. I usually only saw the downside of every situation and expected the worst outcome more often than not. I was not aware then that I was sabotaging myself and destroying my being inside. 

However, all those self-deprecations halted when one man told me that I could be good and that I only needed to believe in myself. More than the lesson of learning how to believe in oneself, I saw the value of kind and positive words, of how such words can revive a person who is dying inside.  

In the same way, no matter how trivial we may think it is, negative words can dim the light of a hopeful person or extinguish that of a dying one. 

When we feel hopeless, we should keep quiet rather than open our mouths and cause other people harm by speaking negatively. You don’t know what a person is going through, and you might just have made their day worse. Even if you may not be the main problem, you might become the added weight that finally causes that person to break. Be kind. If you can’t find the right words to say, give your support by just being there silently.

I can recount many experiences firsthand and from other people, proving the detrimental effect of negative words on people. One experience that I consider very heartbreaking was that of one close friend of mine. He is a brilliant person, genius even. He had ideals and had such monumental dreams for himself when he was a child. He would happily relay all his visions of the future to his family, thinking that they would be supportive of him. Although his family is supportive, they were apprehensive about allowing themselves to dream bigger than what they could afford based on their status in life. His family told him that his dream might be “impossible,” and so it was. It became impossible not because he was not capable. He was not able to make it happen because he stopped trying. Instead of ways, he could only think of the obstacles. 

When given the opportunity, say a kind word to people whom you think need it. Offer them a smile or a helping hand. We might not be able to do much for everyone in the world, but by choosing our words, we are helping people to be stronger in facing life and its challenges. Agreeing to their negative self-talk to show understanding is not helping the person, and it does not solve anything. Don’t you think affirming their value as a person or suggesting solutions to their problems are better ways of making them feel good? 

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Is disappointment an unhealthy feeling? This question is valid since disappointment is a negative emotion after all. However, I believe we are permitted to feel such emotion because it is a part of human nature. Like any other negative emotion, we are entitled to feel it, and, as I mentioned in a previous blog post, we should not guilt ourselves when we do.

We may wish not to experience being disappointed because it is an unpleasant feeling. Still, we cannot prevent things, situations, or people from disappointing us since these are elements out of our control. To avoid a downward spiral when disappointment happens, we have to learn how to manage it.

1. Practice acceptance and manage expectations. I believe that the main reason for people’s disappointment, especially with other people, is the high expectation. Even though we should learn to trust other people, it doesn’t mean that we should expect them to meet the standard we set for them. In the beginning, we should condition our minds that although we can trust people to be or do things a certain way, there is always a possibility that they could not live to those expectations because of certain limitations that we cannot control. If such a shortcoming happens, we might still feel down, but the feeling will not linger longer.
2. Allow yourself to feel it to let it out. Just like any other emotion, when disappointment is not expressed or allowed to come out, even just internally, it will only worsen. Like water in a dam, this emotion needs to be released so that you will not suddenly break.
3. Check your contribution to the negative outcome. When we are disappointed with specific results, for example, the factors that lead to such are not always other people or things. Sometimes, if not most, we contribute or even solely are the reason for the disappointing result. If this is the case, we should fix it by correcting our part of the mistake. Doing something to correct the error will make you feel better.
4. Look at the bigger picture. When things do not work the way you want them to, there may be something better. When you don’t figure out how to work things out with a particular person, it may be because you’re supposed to work it out with another person. When specific opportunities do not fit you, it may be because better ones suit you. Regardless, all those disappointing experiences with other people, things, and events are opportunities for you to learn.
5. Remind yourself of your past wins. When your disappointment is a failure to achieve goals, it is imperative to remind yourself that you are not always in that state. Remembering that you are also capable of winning, as evidenced by your past achievements, your disappointment with yourself will less likely turn to a more depressing state and give you hope that you can still achieve what you want.

Do you cope with disappointment the same way? Or do you have other means that you find more compelling? Feel free to share your insights below.

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Our teenage years are one of those times that helped shape us to become the adults we are now. We gathered lessons from those years either through the teachings of other people or through our own experiences. We might have recognized those lessons as valuable right away, yet some we only find meaningful as we tread through adulthood. 

Out of all the valuable lessons from my teenage years, I have five topmost on the long list. They remain echoed to my being while I navigate this life to fulfill my purpose. 

1. Being young is not a reason not to gain respect. It is said that respect is earned, not given, and nothing can be more accurate than this statement. Age, popularity, or wealth are not the determining factors to gaining genuine respect from people. I learned that when you honor your words, uphold what is right, and respect others too, you gain people’s respect even when you are young, powerless, or underprivileged. No matter how old, influential or wealthy, a person with no integrity will never truly gain the people’s genuine respect. 
2. Never make decisions because of peer pressure. Most of us usually learn this lesson hard because we only realize the impact after succumbing to the pressure. I knew that it is not a wise choice to act under the reason of not wanting to disappoint your friends because not everything that they want you to do is beneficial. More importantly, you are the one who the outcome of your actions will directly impact.
3. It’s okay to be different from everyone else. The desire to belong is inherent to human beings. We usually want to be part of something. Because of this, we try to alter ourselves, personality or character, to fit in and be like everyone else. However, I learned that you could not bring out your potential if you try to be someone you are not. You can only contribute when you bring out your uniqueness and offer it to serve others.
4. Helping others does not put you at a disadvantage. I have encountered many people who do not want to share knowledge, time, and other resources because they think they will have less afterward. I learned, however, that when you help others through whatever means you have, you actually gain something. You gain opportunities, relationships, and joy in your heart.  
5. There is a lesson to learn from every situation. During my adolescence, I went through a lot of challenges, both internally and externally. Some of the troubles were serious, while some were trivial. Yet, no matter how trivial some of those challenges were, I could extract lessons from each of them and use them to solve the more enormous challenges I had. I learned to look at the good side of everything. 

Every time I look back on these lessons, I am reminded of how each phase of life is essential to a person’s growth and development. 

What are some of the lessons you learned from your teenage years? Do you still find them applicable to your life now? 

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In one of my past blogs, I shared five of my most recommended books. Those books did not only prove beneficial in my journey to career growth but also my endeavor for a well-rounded life. A book can indeed hold a great power through the influence it can cast upon its readers. The book, The One Thing by Gary W. Keller and Jay Papasan, for instance, brought me a lot of realizations that I consider to be helpful takeaways that I readily applied. 

1. Everything is not equally important. This piece of wisdom reminded me to identify what matters most and focus on those first. Even the things or people on top of our list of priorities follow a hierarchy. One is just more important than the other, albeit not less significant. 
2. Developing good habits slowly and steadily leads to success. This served as an affirmation that it is fine to be at a slow pace because people have individual ways and times of coping. This is an encouragement meant to keep us wanting to keep trying and keep moving forward surely, even if it meant going at a minimum speed. 
3. Doing the right thing and not doing everything right. When we do everything right, it does not always mean that we are doing the right thing. We need to muster the courage in ensuring that we stick to what is right even if it means we have to go against what the majority dictates. This is one of the most important lessons that we should never forget when we tread our way through life because, without our integrity, we are nothing. 
4. Multitasking consumes a lot of time. Doing a lot of tasks at the same time does not save us time, contrary to a popular belief. When the mind is not focused, it does not function well. At the end of the day, we only manage to get every task started but, more often than not, not a single one gets done or most have lousy results.
5. Going big in everything you do. For any task to be successful or completely feel rewarding, we need to give our best in the process. While it does not guarantee success all the time, it leaves little room for regret on our part. Giving our best in everything we do would not lead to future what-ifs. 
6. Striving to always live a balanced life makes you stressed. Trying hard to do everything to achieve balance does not produce the best results. Wanting to achieve balance does not only lead to overthinking; it also causes fatigue. Again, we have to learn to put the most important things first, complete them and work our way down. 
7. Holding yourself accountable for the results you get in life is a sign of maturity. It is convenient to blame outside forces when we experience difficulties or failures in life, but this does not contribute to our growth as a person. As being capable of thinking and deciding, we should be responsible for our actions. We should know that each action we decide to take has corresponding results. A mature person does not blame others. 

It is amazing that with only 240 pages, I found myself learning valuable lessons from this book that could get me through a lifetime. With its practical lessons, one can easily navigate through them and apply those lessons immediately. 

Have you read this book yet? What lessons did you learn from it?

Which kind of habit is easier to fall into? A bad one or a good one? I believe most people would agree that it is easier to indulge oneself in a bad habit. Usually, bad habits are generally easy or comfortable, while a good one requires tremendous effort. Needless to say, bad habits are tempting. 

With this knowledge, how can we pull back from our bad habits then establish and maintain good habits in their place? Here are some ways that may help one to go through such a feat. 

1. Determine which bad habits are non-supportive to your growth. This step is first and foremost in the process because identifying the habits that we need to rid ourselves of will help us identify the steps to make it happen. More importantly, knowing what our non-supportive habits are will lead to the formulation of the opposite.  
2. Seek a mentor or coach to help you with techniques on how to replace the bad habits. Whether we admit it or not, we need other people to help us, especially when we need to overcome a challenge that we have a hard time fighting inside us. If we just rely on our strength, the tendency would be that we’d go back to our bad habits because it would be easier. Therefore, seeking out motivated and expert people with techniques that could make falling into good habits easier is a good decision. 
3. Do it consistently. At the end of the day, the top and most significant element we need in keeping the good habits we start to develop is ourselves. Even with the knowledge, skills, and help we get, the change will not fully take root if we do not muster the discipline and willpower to keep the new and unfamiliar habits. We must always be consistent and fight every difficulty or obstacle that comes our way through keeping the good habits we wish to maintain. 

Developing good habits or trying to do so is a personal choice. Some people are not able or do not get out of their bad habits because they might not have found it necessary for themselves or the people around them. People with hopes and dreams for their future typically strive hard to overcome their weaknesses and develop good habits. If you are one of these people, you know what you need to do. Are you willing to do so? 

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Fear, an unpleasant feeling caused by thoughts of danger, pain, or suffering, can sometimes become more dangerous to a person than the perceived danger itself. How? If allowed to take control over one’s mind, fear causes one to think and act irrationally. It cripples a person and hinders their ability to function and thrive. The objects of fear vary from one person to another, albeit some also share the same fear. It can be caused by a thing, a creature, another person, a concept, a situation, or a feeling. 

Regardless of the kind and gravity of a person’s fear, one may overcome it the same way that others might. Here is a process that one may find helpful in overcoming any fear. 

1. Gradually face your fears rather than avoid them. Some people do their best to keep themselves safe from whatever it is that they fear. They prevent it or any situation that might lead them to the object of their fear. This strategy, however, would limit a person from experiencing life to the fullest. It can cause missed opportunities. Therefore, instead of avoiding it, one should face it gradually. Allowing oneself to be exposed to whatever they are afraid of will help in getting accustomed to it. The fear may not entirely dissipate, but it will eventually lessen and no longer cause panic or paralysis, which is more dangerous. 
2. Talk to the right people and seek help or advice. It may not be easy for a person to admit to other people that they have fears, not only because of pride but also because it makes them more vulnerable. However, if one wants to conquer such a challenge, they should accept that they need other people’s help. One would find that allowing other people who care and can help to talk and walk them through those fears makes them less afraid because they now have someone who could help them face and overcome the challenge.   
3. Actively remind yourself of the positive things around you. People tend to lose sight of beautiful things when overwhelmed with negative feelings, especially that crippling feeling of fear. They tend to focus on anxiety. One should make a conscious effort to remind themselves of the other beautiful things, other good people, other great happenings around them to help lessen the impact of what one fear. It is like diminishing negative thoughts through positive thinking. 

These strategies can only serve a person well if they have the resolve to quell their fears indeed. One needs to have faith and bravery, for there is not enough advice to break through a distrustful or cowardly heart. 

Do you think these ways help overcome fears? 

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One of the best feelings in the world is the fulfillment of being able to help other people. Fortunately, helping others can be done through various means. You can help alleviate momentary inconveniences or discomfort, provide needs, and even change lives for the better. The latter, which does not require financial capability, is obviously of much gravity and is much more fulfilling than just providing partial comfort. 

The will to change, however, is up to the person who needs it. As someone on the outside, you can only try to influence the person to want to change but you have no right to impose the change you think the former needs.  In other words, you have to know whether they want to change or not before you can help with the process. It is very invasive of someone’s personal life if you try to help them change when, in the first place, they do not see anything wrong with themselves. So what are the possible ways that you can do to help the person change for the better if the need arises?  

1. Know where the person is coming from. Before you can figure out a way to help a person in changing his negative attitude, behavior or way of life, you have to go back to the reason why they develop such acts in the first place. Understanding their background or their experiences will help you identify the right solution to the challenge. 
2. Provide long-term solutions. More often than not, people go back to what they are used to or what’s more comfortable for them. The solution to this is making them realize that one of the best ways to switch to a better direction is by providing them with new habits that can replace the old one permanently but can lead to a better outcome. 
3. Be a role model. Sometimes, helping people to change is more effectively done by showing them an example. Instead of just directing or advising the person you want to change, you have to show it through your own actions. You have to be a better person and show how your decision to do the right thing affects your life and the people around you. 

We all have our fair share of negative traits. However, this should not hinder us from helping others overcome their own. As we open ourselves to be helped by others to overcome our own weaknesses and change for the better, we are showing them how it is okay to receive help.  

How else can you help people change for the better? 

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“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” – Zig Ziglar.

Ever since I stumbled upon this quote, I started to live by it. Through it, I realized that I don’t need to be perfect nor be in a perfect circumstance before taking a step toward any venture I wish to engage in. Yet, I also believe that there are indispensable factors that one needs to be adequately equipped in facing the new undertaking. These key factors are the following:

1. Faith. As an ardent believer of God, I put my trust in Him that when my heart and mind are drawn to an idea, He’s the one responsible for putting that in me. Therefore, I strengthen my resolve to pursue whatever I believe I am called to do. Without faith, we would quickly feel defeated when we fail. We would easily be confused as to what our purpose or mission is. 
2. Passion. Have you noticed how easy it is to do a task that you find exciting or love? More often than not, the results you obtain in performing such tasks are satisfactory, aren’t they? Compare those results with the ones that come out from performing tasks that you weren’t enthusiastic about at all. There is indeed a vast difference, and that is passion. An intense desire is needed to fuel you through any venture you wish to put yourself through. Without passion, you may easily give it up when you face challenging situations.
3. Self-discipline. Not everything you do will be easy to accomplish. Despite this fact, giving up should not be the solution. To overcome any challenges, you need the ability to handle yourself when you feel disappointed or frustrated when things don’t work the way you want them to work. You need to help yourself to keep going even when you feel weak and tired. You need to be consistent. 
4. Positive Attitude. Do you know that you attract what you think or say? Like when you say the day would be bad, it would eventually be bad. I believe it has something to do with your emotions. When you keep a pessimistic attitude when faced with challenges, there would be a higher tendency for you to think of adverse outcomes rather than come up with solutions. Therefore, you need to keep a positive attitude despite any problematic situations you may encounter. 
5. Supporter. Regardless of the many pessimistic people, you may know who could influence your decision, you will more likely strengthen your determination when you have even one person who supports you. You don’t need everyone to believe in what you are capable of doing, but you will need someone who will cheer you on when you feel a little uncertain with your steps. 

With these elements, I achieved most of my dreams and lived my mission in life. Was I perfectly capable of making those goals happen? Absolutely not. For instance, when I felt that I am inclined to become a sales trainer, I did not have all the knowledge and skills to become one. I only felt the pull in that direction. Therefore, I took the next step of equipping myself through education with faith, passion, self-discipline, a positive attitude, and the support of some loved ones. As Lao Tzu said, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

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What does success mean for you? When do you claim that you are successful?  

I am aware that most people define success as accomplishing a goal or attaining a certain level of wealth and fame. Then, why do most still feel depressed after achieving the things they thought they wanted in their lives? It is because success can mean different things to people based on their roles in life. For a mother, success could mean being able to keep her child happy and safe. For an environmentalist, success could mean people are doing a collective action to protect the planet. For a teacher, success could mean accomplished students. For me, success is not measured by the number of achievements, money, nor fame. I say success means fulfillment, growth, overcoming fears, learning to embrace rejections. 

On my journey through life, I encountered different kinds of difficulties, some of which disabled me to achieve some of my goals. Despite it all, I consider myself successful not because I achieved the goals I set for myself but because I managed to overcome each of those obstacles, learned from them, and experienced growth in the process. 

More importantly, I can say that when you have the following most important components, you are successful in life.

1. Sense of fulfillment. Without this feeling, can you say you have achieved success? When you don’t feel that happiness or contentment after performing a task or accomplishing a goal, you know success is not at hand. This feeling is achieved when you know you gave your all to do what you have to do.  
2. Knowing your purpose. We cannot be genuinely happy or content through money or fame because these are not our purpose for being. We are to use what we have, both material and intangible resources, to fulfill our purpose. That is why we need to know our goal for us to complete it and achieve real success.
3. Personal growth. This should be one of the results of the challenges you face in your journey. If you did not grow personally after all the difficulties you encountered, you could never say you are successful. The things and goals we achieved, the status we have now, and the lessons we learned from the past are all the results of our personal growth.

Needless to say, success is not measured by all the glories we know. It is much more profound. Do you agree?

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Have you realized that almost every change in you and around you is caused by a decision made? Even some of the changes in the environment, such as climate change, are caused by people’s decision to discount the effects of carbon emissions as long as industrialization is realized. 

Though there are negative changes, there are also positive ones. I have various stories of people who decided to change for the better, and in all those people, three reasons stuck out to me that caused those changes. 

Let me set one friend of mine as an example. He had been a chain smoker since he was a teenager. He used to finish one to two boxes of cigarettes in a day. He was like that for many years. No matter who reprimanded him, he would not let go of the vice because he got so dependent on nicotine. And because of it, he got seriously ill that made him bedridden for a long time. Of course, that circumstance brought hardship to him and his family, who was depending on him. That slump led him never to go back to the destructive vice that almost cost him his life and the future of his family. 

If a life-threatening event caused that person to change, another acquaintance of mine changed because of emotional pain. This person had been in a toxic relationship with her lover for five years. She was made to suffer being abused physically, mentally, and emotionally. She endured that for a long time, but one day she realized that she could no longer accept the pain. She had been hurt too much without the chance to heal throughout those years. So, that day she finally decided to leave and let go of that relationship she was trapped in for the longest time. She agreed to allow herself to heal from the trauma.

Though I also experienced difficulties in life that moved me to specific changes, the most significant change I made was caused by inspiration from people. Throughout my life, I met many people who inspired me to become better despite the hardships. I got inspired by my family to work hard, by my teachers to strive and learn, by my mentors to continue learning, and by my friends to build more meaningful relationships.

In these three scenarios, the characters changed because of three different reasons. The first person changed because of a life-changing event that forced him to change. The second one changed because he reached the limit of his pain threshold. The third character changed because another person inspired him – other people, to be exact.

These changes might have been triggered by different emotions – from pain to inspiration, but all resulted in a better situation for the person concerned. More importantly, the changes took place because the person decided to make it happen. A person who takes such an action is indeed courageous.

For you, what could be other reasons for people to change for the better?

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Sometimes people are not aware of their capabilities. They often go through life wondering why they’re not making progress nor succeeding with their work. People who experience such a slump would usually think that they were destined to fail in life. Thoughts like “why can’t I do it like how that person does it?”, “what does that person have that I don’t?” or “am I not good enough?” would pester their minds and would cause worries and frustration.  

The reality, however, is that they just have not realized or brought out their true potential. So how do you tap on that potential?

1. You should know what you truly want in life. Some might say that they’re doing or fulfilling something because they want it, but in reality, they’re just trying to follow what society or their family dictates or expects of them. If you are doing what other people want you to do, there is a slight possibility that you are enhancing your strength. The person who knows you the most is yourself because you can feel what your natural inclinations are or what your strengths are. Therefore, discover what you want by assessing yourself first. Look inside yourself. Do not allow other people’s opinions to influence your preferences. 
2. You must be in a peak state of mind. Once you discover what you truly want to do or fulfill, you have to ensure that you are physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to face any challenges that may come along your journey. You also have to be passionate, energetic, and confident. Without these traits, you will probably give up when faced with even a slight difficulty. 
3. Be flexible and creative. It is also important to note that a particular strength or talent may fit different areas of specialization. If you are a person who is talented in writing, for example, you may work in either news and public affairs or filmmaking. However, you should also take your preferences into account when choosing which field to pursue. If you are interested in fiction more than news and current affairs, then there is a possibility that you will be less productive if you work as a news writer. With the awareness that you love fiction, you should focus on that genre rather than be demotivated because of failing to be effective in other areas. 

In a nutshell, the best of you is just a matter of bringing out the best in you. You already have everything you need to succeed inside of you. You have to dig deeper, assess yourself, and let go of other people’s judgments. To do so, you have to remember that we are all born to have strengths, not just weaknesses. Most importantly, we were born with free will. Therefore, we can choose what to do with what we are blessed with. 

How about you? Have you already tapped your true potential?

I remember very well when I was still a child, I would jump when the clock struck midnight symbolizing the end of the year and the start of a new year. I jumped because I was made to believe at that young age that doing so would help me grow taller. Having heard such advice from people whom I considered much more knowledgeable and full of wisdom than me, I blindly accepted and followed it even until I grew older. Strangely enough, learning about superstitious beliefs and logic in school did not stop me from believing it. Although this belief does not harm me as a person, my way of accepting it represents my tendency to accept and follow all other beliefs – including limiting beliefs – that were ingrained in my head while growing up. This is where the problem comes in. 

There are pieces of advice that were given to us by our parents and other adult authorities in our lives, which now turn into beliefs that limit us from growing or having better lives. 

1. “Having a lot of money makes people bad.” I often hear this statement as far back as I can remember until today. I heard it from the adults around me and was supported by how it was presented on TV shows and the like. It made me fear wanting to have more money. It felt like committing a grave sin to desire it. Unfortunately, this belief led me to lessen my determination to earn for fear of becoming a person hungry for money or being seen as one by other people. This should not be the case. The truth is money does not make a person turn evil. What makes some people bad is their love for money. 
2. “It is not good to get your hopes up.” I think this belief is the result of the disappointment of not getting or achieving what was wished or hoped for. The intention of the adults who said this might be to protect a child from disappointment, it led to the development of negative thinking and pessimism. I remembered thinking of getting low scores in the exams even though I wanted the opposite. I did not know that I was attracting what I declared through my thoughts and words. Later on, I learned that I should declare good things to happen. Words have power therefore we must always speak life.  
3. “To be successful, you have to go to a well-known school.” It is hard to succeed when your school is not known. This is one of the thoughts that greatly affected my motivation in life. When I failed to maintain my education in a famous university, I almost gave up on my dream of being a successful person. Yet, in reality, obtaining success is a decision that we have to make. Graduating from a prestigious school is not enough assurance that a person will succeed in his or her chosen career. 
4. “It is selfish to want more.” They said that I should not want more when my needs are already met because I would seem to be ungrateful. It made me think then that it’s bad to have more because it feels like I am greedy. However, I now realized that when I have more, I will also be able to help more people who need help and support. As they say, “we cannot give what we do not have”.
5. “Only rich people can have their own business.” This belief leads to the advice that one should study hard to obtain a stable job in the future. There is nothing wrong with being an employee or working for other people. Although not everyone is meant to be a business owner or a boss, this position is also not for rich people only – anyone can. 

Without us noticing, we have regulated our actions so as not to go against the beliefs, or offend the people who taught them to us. It’s like we are afraid of disproving long-existing notions set by previous generations. Indeed, there’s no harm in trying some beliefs like jumping on New Year’s eve to become taller. However, there are beliefs that we need to throw away for us to achieve our full potential and be successful in whatever we want to do. We have to identify those limiting beliefs that are hindering us from becoming the person we aim to be, then let them go.

How about you? What limiting beliefs hindered you to achieve your dream? What limiting beliefs are still holding you down until now? 

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No matter how focused a person is on his or her daily tasks, he or she is still prone to distractions that lead to unproductivity. Distraction is especially inevitable now that we are in the age when technology and innovation are commonplace, and everyone can get easy access. 

In my daily life, as someone who works at home and without a boss, my time is my own. I do not need to report to anyone. Nobody will reprimand me if I do not do my tasks. However, I have to follow a routine and complete tasks to continuously work on my mission. Yet, given that I have freedom of my time, I tend to succumb to distractions. Here are the most common things that distract me. 

1. Social media is not something I can avoid because it has a vital role in my business. However, a disadvantage is that I also tend to get carried away and linger in it unnecessarily. To prevent me from wasting time on it, I consciously assign a specific time to check social media for essential purposes. 
2. Minor troubles that happen in my personal life from time to time are also one of the causes that I get distracted. Instead of focusing on the essential tasks that I have set beforehand, I usually divert my attention to the sudden challenge that also causes me stress. To get back to my focus, I ask myself whether the current challenge needs to be attended to first or if it is more important than my other tasks. I make sure to add it to my list of tasks based on their importance.
3. Every time I scroll my social media timeline, I usually find news and controversies that, more often than not, manage to catch my attention. Because of it, I tend to read more or research more about the issue, which mostly does not even concern me or my business. To address this distraction, I make sure not to check my social media timeline before completing my routine and tasks. 
4. When engrossed with tasks, ideas would suddenly pop into my head, such as concepts for new training programs or new projects. These ideas would usually trigger my focus to be diverted to working on them instead of completing the tasks at hand. To manage my time well, I take note of the idea and go back to it once done with my priorities. I always tell myself that such sudden ideas can wait and are not as crucial as my current activities or tasks.
5. Conducting training sessions almost every day causes me to always think about my delivery of each presentation. I tend to repeat the training sequence in my head and think if I delivered it the right way or not. For me, it is not helpful if I spend more time overthinking. However, I made this habit into something beneficial by taking note of what didn’t work or what I can improve next time and use the information to make my subsequent training sessions better. 

Instead of indulging myself in all the distractions of my daily life, I do my best and do whatever it takes to help myself turn away from them. If we condition ourselves that we have to focus on the essential things, we can have the determination to fight such temptations. If we can’t avoid it, we have to find a way around it at the very least. 

How about you? What usually distracts you from doing your tasks? Are you able to manage it? 

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It would be hypocrisy if I’d say I wouldn’t want to change anything in the past if given the opportunity. There were actions, decisions, and occurrences in the past that made me feel regretful – that I do not deny. 

On the other hand, no matter how seemingly convenient time-turning could be, it could actually be fatal for people. Why? We, humans, learn through experience and especially from mistakes we commit. We can grow and develop our personalities and characters, which allow us to survive the ever-changing world because of all our experiences, good and bad – without exception. If we can go back in time to correct mistakes or avoid certain events from happening, we would definitely not grow. And, would life be fun that way? I don’t think so. 

It is not entirely wrong to feel regretful about the past, nor is it a sin to wish for time to be revisited. We are entitled to have such a feeling and desire. However, obsessing over that regret by constantly thinking about it is definitely not good. Instead of focusing on improvement, our minds become busy with unnecessary thoughts. We can use those incidents, though, not as material for a pity party, but for making a plan and improving ourselves. 

For instance, one of the things I regret the most is not spending more time with my grandparents. Needless to say, if I could go back in time, I would definitely give them more time, learn more from their life experience, and show them my love and care. This shortcoming made me realize that we may suddenly lose the people we love, so we must make sure to make them feel our love before it’d be too late for us to express our feelings. Through this experience, I decided to put in extra effort to be closer to my family and friends amidst my busy schedule. 

Another decision that I would have wanted to change was spending time doing meaningless things. There had been many times when I lost focus on my studies and my work. Because of those, I lost several opportunities. After regretting my actions back then, I decided to always focus on the essential things and avoid distractions so that I wouldn’t regret missing opportunities. 

Besides previous actions and decisions, I would want to turn back time to choose who I surround myself with. A lot of my mistakes in the past were caused by bad influences. If I could go back in time, I would choose to be around people who have a positive mindset to make sound decisions as well. Yet again, through this experience, I learned that I need to stay away from toxic people. 

Indeed, if I could go back in time, I would correct all of these choices and more. Indeed, I regretted making all those decisions and actions. Indeed, I could only wish. Yet, I embrace this feeling of regret because it opened my eyes to many lessons about life. Therefore, I am and will always be grateful for those past experiences. Besides, if I go back to the past and change one thing, I will not be where I am today.

How about you? If you could go back in time, what would you want to change?

Among all aspects of a person’s life, I believe that health should be given the most importance. Paying attention to our health does not necessarily involve complicated and expensive actions like regularly going to the doctor for a checkup. What we can do to help ourselves have good health involves simple steps that we can definitely fulfill on our own. These steps can even be considered as prevention from contracting a disease rather than cure.  

1. Drink lots of water every day. Who doesn’t know that every human being and other creatures need water to survive? It is not something that should be included in trivia. However, do all of us know why we should be religious in drinking water daily? Its function is more than just to quench thirst. It helps in making our brains and other body parts function correctly. Have you noticed what happens to your body when dehydrated? Right, we cannot function properly. Besides that, water also helps the body clean itself of waste inside. 
2. Eat healthy meals on time. The food we consume matters a lot. We do not only eat to satisfy our hunger. We eat to give our body the proper nutrition to function correctly, so we need to give our body the right food to provide us with those nutrients. Consuming healthy food is not enough, though. We should also maintain a proper eating schedule to make sure that our digestive system works properly. 
3. Exercise regularly. Exercise helps us not only in strengthening our muscles but also in burning calories. Through exercise, we help our body get rid of fats and reduce the risks of heart-related diseases. In addition, it can also help our body in taking out the toxins from within through perspiration. 
4. Have a healthy sleeping habit. Why is sleep important? Sleep is essential naturally because it’s the opportunity for our body to rest. During sleep, our body repairs itself and recovers from weariness. If we do not allow the body to have adequate sleep, we wear it down quickly, and it becomes more susceptible to diseases because it becomes weak. 
5. Feed your mind with positive things. Positive thinking is critical if we want to protect our health. Why? Because thinking of the opposite will only give us stress and worry. When we are stressed or worried, our brain refuses to function correctly, affecting all the other parts of our body. 

At times like this, it is much more necessary for us to be cautious in maintaining our health to ensure that our immune system is at its peak. All the ways mentioned above may seem very normal, but all these significantly impact our body’s health. We need to be reminded of these from time to time because we also tend to neglect them. Are there other tips that we can add to this list? 

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Should we plan for our future or not? Many people say that it is not good to plan life because it is unpredictable – there might be no more tomorrow. So, they believe that it isn’t wise. Why not just go through it every day without thinking about anything else that has not happened yet? 

I once had a close friend who was way too relaxed about his life. He usually skips school and not for important reasons at all – he prioritized comfort over his studies. As a friend, I advised him to take his education seriously for his future. His response surprised me and got me pondering, too. He said that his hard work would not mean anything if he suddenly died the next day since we cannot foretell future happenings. That statement really affected me, and I thought of relaxing more and not working harder for the future. The good thing is I realized later on that, like how we cannot predict if we’d die the next day, we also cannot expect that our life might still be very long. 

Throughout the years, I realized through firsthand experience and adult influence that humans exist for a purpose. Each one has the purpose of fulfilling their role in the world. This purpose, of course, cannot be fulfilled without effort. That is why we should plan, and here are the reasons why we should plan and not just leave everything be:

1. Planning allows us to live life to the fullest because there will be less wasted time. 
2. Planning guides us to hit our target destination in life or our purpose. 
3. Planning allows us to achieve our goals because we identify and follow the steps that would lead us to achieve those goals.
4. Planning helps us to be grateful because it helps us to see our achievements.  
5. Planning provides clarity and gives us peace of mind.

I do not think we are given life just to survive. The proof is, there are consequences to each action we take, and we feel different emotions when we experience those emotions. We are here to achieve our purpose for us to feel the ultimate fulfillment. Thus, we need to find ways and plan how to fulfill our purpose in life regardless of the uncertainty. If we die tomorrow, at least we will not regret not doing anything to make life worthwhile. 

Do you agree with me on this? 

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During our childhood years, we were conditioned to act and think like adults. We did not realize that we should not lose some of our childlike nature because those are important when we go through our adult years. We tend to get rid of all those thinking that those will hinder us from being mature and responsible adults through the years. 

I believe that for us to get through life, we need to learn or relearn the following things that are inherent in children:

1. Never be afraid to ask questions. One way that a child fills his or her mind is by satisfying his or her curiosity by asking questions. This supposed helpful act usually disappears when the child goes to school and subconsciously learns (a mistake) that asking questions means one is stupid. Afraid of being judged for not knowing anything, we now tend to keep quiet even rather than ask questions. How can we grow if we pretend to know all? We should never be afraid to ask questions like a curious child. 
2. Get excited always. As we grow older, we become more and more reserved with our emotions. We lack enthusiasm even about huge things. We must be excited like a child over a new career, a new project, or other achievements. Remember, excitement and motivation give us the driving force and play a significant role in achieving our dreams.
3. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Initially, children do whatever they want out of curiosity since they do not know the consequences. Yet, when they feel the result after doing the act, they learn to do or not to do it again. Adults should also be like that – never afraid of taking risks to learn. The more mistakes we encounter, the more lessons we learn. And the more lessons we learn, the more we improve ourselves.
4. Find happiness in the minor things you do. Have you noticed how a child can be ecstatic when given candy or when seeing something for the first time? On the contrary, adults rarely even show happiness when obtaining small or significant achievements. As we grow older, we become harder to please. It is a choice. If we are grateful, we should be able to be happy even with the smallest thing. That is a secret to happiness. 
5. Ask for help when you need it. Just like how unhesitant they are to ask questions, children also tend never to hesitate to ask for help from others when they need it. Adults should also continue to have this will because nobody is perfect and can do everything. We need help. We need each other. To achieve what we want, we must seek help or guidance, particularly from people who have experienced unbelievable challenges and breakthroughs after breakthroughs.
6. Dream big and be fearless. Do you still remember what your dream was when you were still a child? I believe most of us had such big dreams, and we’re not afraid of not fulfilling them. However, as we grew older, we became cynical due to the different factors and struggles we experienced, resulting in our dreams diminishing. This act of giving up led us to take minimal effort because we changed to dreams that we think are more achievable. This should not be the case. Let us continue to dream big because only then will we dare to take big actions. 

Indeed growing is a must. However, we need to remain childlike to enjoy the wonders of life. While we continue to grow and acquire new knowledge, skills, and experiences, we should not forget to retain our childlikeness. Do you agree? 

What else do you think we can learn from children? 

A while back, I attended a training wherein the trainer shared how he keeps a notebook with him all the time to write down inspirational adages he sees or quotes he comes up with based on his experiences. I realized then that doing so does make sense and may come in handy in the future. We should not discount the wisdom that comes with quotes that people develop because it is the product of their every experience. This kind of wisdom can help in motivating ourselves and other people as well.

Recently, I turned 35 years old, and in those years, I have learned a lot about life as a whole. Since it is my mission to inspire other people to live life to the fullest and achieve great results in whatever they do, I am sharing 35 quotes of mine. These quotes are from all the different experiences I have had in this life so far, whether it be in my career or personal life. 

1. “Passion gives you energy. Discipline gets you there. Attitude brings you to the next level.”
2.  “The moment we compare ourselves with other people and focus on what we do not have is the moment we allow ourselves to feel unhappy.
3.  “When you’re facing problems in life, learn to humble yourself and ask for help or support. Remember, your pride and ego will only trap you with your problems.”
4.  “Taking small steps every single day is always better than just thinking of doing it.”
5.  “Stay strong amid adversity. You never know who you are inspiring to see the light in their dark moments.”
6.  “Whatever product or service you offer, always put your heart into it and do it with high energy.”
7.  “If you want to elevate your results in life, always invest in yourself and take massive actions. Follow this pattern for your growth.”
8.  “There’s no such thing as bad salespeople. They are just untrained salespeople who need to be trained.”
9.  “If you keep on receiving the ‘price is too much objection, it is a reflection of your belief about your product. In other words, you believe that your product is expensive. Change your belief.”
10.  “If you’re not serious about investing in yourself, you’re not serious about elevating your results.”
11.  “Always remember and give credit to the people who helped you, supported your journey, and stayed with you from the beginning.”
12.  “Every goal you want to achieve in life requires a different version of yourself.”
13.  “You have to change your perspective to see that every opportunity, big or small, is a blessing. “
14.  “When people pull you down, ignore them. When people pull you up, thank them. Know where to invest your time and feelings.”
15.  “Don’t complain about your results. Your results come from your habits, decisions, and actions.”
16.  “You are not in the business of giving information and hoping people to buy. You are in the business of asking questions and leading people to take action.”
17.  “If we work without a mission, we can’t achieve what we want to achieve. But when we work with a mission, not only can we achieve what we want to achieve, but we can also celebrate wins and be grateful for them.”
18.  “Faith requires trust. Trust requires actions.”
19.  “There is no such thing as the perfect life. Yet, one can still be genuinely happy by living a fulfilling life.”
20.  “Always think, speak and act positively in negative situations.”
21.  “Closed deals and referrals are proof that clients are happy, satisfied, and they feel that you care for them.”
22.  “Learn new things, not gossip. Take actions, not judgments. Make results, not promises. Enjoy success, not dramas.”
23.  “Acknowledge promises, not efforts. Appreciate efforts, not promises. Reward results, not promises nor effort.”
24.  “Self-discipline means taking away all the excuses and doing what you should do whatever it takes.”
25.  “Don’t just pray for success. Be intentional about achieving it.”
26.  “When your heart is in the right place, other people’s opinions about you won’t matter.”
27.  “Never allow yourself to be stuck in the past, nor worry about the future. Instead, live your life today with faith, love, and kindness for tomorrow may never come.”
28.  “No matter how good you are to others, there are people who think otherwise. Never let that change you. Just continue to be good and love others as God loves you.”
29.  “In any relationship, not honoring a commitment is a sign of disrespect.”
30.  “Time is too precious to waste on proving yourself to others.”
31.  “Wealth, fame, and power can never equal the joy that comes from serving others.”
32.  “You can be the instrument for others to see God’s goodness.”
33.  “If you are passionate about what you do, you are unstoppable.”
34.  “Being content doesn’t mean that we stop growing and hoping. It simply means that we’re happy and grateful for every blessing.”
35.  “The best way to feel rich, happy, and abundant is to count all the gifts, blessings, and opportunities you have that money can’t buy.”

While it is true that each one of us has a different journey from one another, we cannot deny the fact that we can also learn from each other’s experiences. My intention for sharing these quotes is to remind people of how wonderful life is. With all its highs and lows, life can be a beautiful journey if we choose it. 

Which one of these quotes can you relate to? Comment your answer below.

I have always heard people say that life is hard. For me, life is easy, but living is hard. There are different reasons as to why I say that life and living are such. From childhood until now, I have encountered varying difficult situations that I deem very challenging and disheartening. 

These circumstances, however, helped me to transform into a stronger person. I overcame each difficulty by allowing the lessons that the different people of my life taught me to guide me. Throughout my life, I have acquired great opportunities of learning from these people. Here are the top eight lessons I value that led me to live my life the way I do now:

1. Always do your best in everything you do.  If you perform each task at 100% level and consider every single day as your last day here on earth, no matter what you do, you can guarantee that you’re doing things excellently. Even when you fail, you will feel less disappointed because you know that you have done your very best. There will be no regrets or what-ifs at the end of the day. 
2. Never forget the people who influenced and helped you to be where you are in life. You can only indeed be happy with your achievements when you give credits to the people who aided you in reaching your goals. There’s no such thing as self-made success. We succeed because of the help of other people.
3. Give and help without hesitation. Giving will not make you have less; instead, it will fill your heart with a sense of fulfillment and happiness. No matter what ideas, things, support, care, time, or how much or how little you can give, you always have the power to touch the lives of other people, and you can influence them in ways possible.
4. You can’t please everyone. Whatever good things you do, there are always people who don’t agree or appreciate your ideas, opinions, or efforts. Therefore, avoid getting affected by negative comments or criticisms about you, and focus your energy on people who love to support you.
5. Do not be ashamed of having weaknesses. No human being is perfect. Instead of sulking about it, embrace it and focus on turning that weakness into a strength. Use it as your testimony someday to inspire people.
6. Self-discipline is a must. Without discipline, you will acquire nothing you dream of achieving. The knowledge and skills you have can only be put to good use when you have the self-discipline to use them consistently.
7. Be responsible for your life. Instead of blaming people or circumstances for your misfortune, work on alleviating yourself from the difficulty you are experiencing. Remember, your results come from your own decisions and actions.
8. Always be a learner and an action taker. We all know that life is a never-ending process. The more you learn, the more you realize that there are so many things you do not know. Therefore, the more you learn, the more you will grow. When you learn, make sure to apply the lessons and maximize them to fulfill your mission here on earth.

Living by these lessons, I experience a lesser surge of negative emotions. I can appreciate the beauty of life and the different experiences in it. Life is not perfect, but you can make it an incredible journey. Embrace and apply the lessons that life wants to teach you.

What lessons do you value in your life? Please feel free to share in the comment section below.

          I have always been vocal about how grateful I am to the people who served as the bridge for me to be on this mission I have now. These people include the Laurus Enterprises team, who brought some of the world’s greatest inspiring individuals, motivational speakers, and professional trainers here in the country. From attending the National Achievers’ Congress that they organized to being one of the speakers of their recently concluded TakeOff Summit 2021, I can say that they have been a significant part of my journey. To say that I might have been on a different path now if I hadn’t known them is something I would not discount because it’s a possibility. For this reason, I am forever thankful that I followed the urge to visit the National Bookstore one fateful afternoon years ago. 

          When I was still working as a salesperson, I barely had time for other things because I was always busy entertaining inquiries, talking with clients, or conducting orientations. I barely even give myself time to breathe. Yet, one fine afternoon, I suddenly felt the desire to visit the bookstore across our office to buy some books. While I waited for my turn at the cashier counter, I saw this poster about the National Achievers’ Congress that would be held in Manila.  It included who the speakers were, and I saw that many inspiring speakers would be there. I got excited because I had always wanted to witness those speakers give a talk in person, so I took note of the details on how to register. A day after, I successfully registered.

          Through that event, I learned about the Millionaire Mind Intensive. MMI then led me to Quantum Leap, and the rest is history. I did not keep it a secret that these training events transformed my life for the better.  If I did not follow that urge to go to the bookstore that day, I would not have known about that event which led me to the other life-changing programs that the event organizer brought in the country. Then I wouldn’t be where I am now. I wouldn’t have realized that my mission is to help other people become champions in sales. 

2 Lessons I got from this experience:

1. We should not take any moment for granted. Any little moment can lead to a big one. Everything happens for a reason indeed. When you feel an urge, do not ignore it. You feel that push because there is a reason. Believe in a force that is working to help you fulfill your destiny or purpose in life.  
2. More importantly, be never afraid to take risks. You may feel that the situation you have back then is more comfortable than your current one, keep going still. Do not abandon your path right away if it gets more and more challenging. One thing can lead to another. Enjoy the process. See each step through. 

          Go with where life takes you. Trust God that He will guide you to where He wants you to be. Do not ignore signs or symbols no matter how small or simple they may be, and do not forget how you started and the people who helped you achieve what you want. 

(Photo by Stanislav Kondratiev from Pexels)

I am the kind of person who loves systems. I do not just go with whatever goes my way in my day. Although I accept the fact that nothing is certain in life, I still love to organize. That is why establishing a routine comes easy for me. 

I also believe that success is not accidental. One needs to have a lot of self-discipline to reach their goals in life. Self-discipline includes developing healthy and effective habits and getting rid of bad ones. 

When I started in sales many years ago, I had many unhealthy habits, such as checking my phone when I wake up in the morning. Although my intention for doing so was work-related, I realized that it was not a good practice. Instead of having a fresh mind in the morning, I immediately became bombarded with work-related information and worries. My day would often turn out to be very stressful and a bit unproductive. 

A change took place in this aspect of my life, just like other significant aspects of my life, when I started to attend personal and professional development training and seminars. All of my trainers and mentors recommended a change in habits and routines for growth and development to be possible. I definitely took all of those teachings by heart. I do the following routine that is inspired by the book of Hal Elrod, The Miracle Morning. 

1. When I wake up, the first thing I do is to stay still while either lying down or sitting on my bed. I usually spend 10 to 20 minutes in that position while talking to God quietly, and taking in the fact that I am awake on a new day. Whatever I feel physically or emotionally at that moment, I always talk to God about it rather than complain and sulk.  
2. When my senses are finally fully awakened, I start to visualize my day – what I plan to do and what I want to accomplish. I do it by writing down the goals I have for that day. When I do this, I always feel motivated to act because I have a clear direction regarding what I need to do. 
3. After visualizing my day, I write a journal containing all the things I am grateful for on that day. This habit helps me maintain a positive outlook on life every day because it reminds me of all my blessings in life. 
4. After writing my gratitude list, I declare what I want to be and have – good health, a positive mind, a grateful heart, and more. This act is not just a mental declaration. I declare everything verbally and repeatedly. 
5. To inspire me even more, I allocate 10 to 15 minutes to read books that help my spiritual, personal, or professional growth. I find this particular habit very handy, especially when I need an idea or information about a project. Sometimes, I would even stumble on words of wisdom that I never thought I would need but eventually do.  
6. After priming my inner self, I then proceed to exercise. This activity completes the perfect morning routine for me because my body becomes energized after. It becomes ready to take on the challenges for the day. 

These habits thus far are the most effective ones in helping me in being productive every single day. I am not saying that these are perfect for everyone because we are all different from each other, but these are worth a try. 

How about you? What are your morning habits? Are those helping in your productivity? 

I have observed for a long time now that people tend to become extremely stressed when the first month of every year comes. It’s like people become frantic to make a lot of things done. Should this be how we start the year? Aside from careful planning and goal setting, we should also learn how to consciously rid ourselves of stress, or even prevent it from sticking to us. Why? The answer is simple. Stress makes us less productive. So here are some tips on how we may be able to prevent ourselves from getting unnecessarily stressed:

1. Perform tasks one at a time – avoid multitasking. Why does doing tasks one at a time prevent stress? It is because when we do more than one thing at once, our mind becomes overloaded. Our thoughts become mixed up. This will then result in confusion, errors, or delays, then inevitably stress will immediately take over. On the other hand, if we stick to completing one task at a time, we can focus all our energy and mind on the task at hand with no other distracting thoughts. This will then result in the task being finished faster, and for another task to be started. When this is the case, would we feel relaxed or stressed? I bet we all know the answer.
2. Get enough rest every day. Have you ever tried waking up in the morning feeling very tired and not wanting to do anything? While there can be several possible reasons for such feelings, the most common one is not getting enough sleep. If we already feel that way in the morning, what do we expect the rest of the day would go? This feeling would lead to a lot of consequences such as unfinished tasks, and a hot temperament. Needless to say, not having enough rest will lead us to stress.
3. Energize yourself by eating healthily and exercising constantly. Based on personal experience and from others’ experiences, eating healthy food can boost our mood and energy as opposed to eating unhealthy foods. When we eat unhealthy foods, we tend to become sleepy and less energized. On the contrary, we feel refreshed and energetic when we ingest the right kind of food. This has a similar effect on our body as exercise. Although we become sweaty and almost breathless after exercising, we can feel that our muscles become more alive as the tensions that build up was released.
4. Take a breather from time to time. We sometimes think that a productive day means being able to work on a lot of things nonstop. We often fail to realize that when we push ourselves to continuously work the whole day, our minds and bodies become weary and less efficient. Despite the seemingly endless tasks we may have, we should always take even a short breather every day. We should always take the time to go on break to refresh ourselves. Taking a breather is not only a way for us to regain our strength, but also a way to rid ourselves of possible unhelpful thoughts building up in our minds.
5. Embrace the fact that there are things you can’t control. Of course, there are things that no amount of planning or concentration can solve. Some things are out of our control, may it be because of natural causes or human intervention. This is a fact that we need to accept. What we can control is how we respond to such inevitable situations. If we try to control it, we are just unnecessarily adding stress to ourselves. What we should do is do what we can on our end and let it go.

“Life is what you make it.” ~Eleonor Roosevelt

While it is true that we have no hold over a lot of things or happenings around us, we have control over ourselves. We can help ourselves or condition ourselves to do what can result in something good or better. We have to choose to help ourselves rather than giving in to negativity.

Do you agree?

Aside from purchasing a planner and brainstorming for resolutions, there are more important things we need to prepare before we welcome the new year. Yes, I know it is quite difficult to plan when we are caught in the holiday celebrations and fun but we need to balance it out and make sure that we are physically, mentally, and spiritually ready to face 2021. Although we can never have certainty in life, we can have excitement and energy when we know that we took actions that would help us tread the journey awaiting us. So here are the things I suggest we do before the first hour of the new year strikes:

1. Set goals for your personal and professional life. Setting goals is best done before the new year starts because it will allow you to maximize the first month. When you already know your goals, you will already know your plans of action and when you’re going to start them. When planning is done before the new year starts, the first month can already be utilized for taking action. 
2. Equip yourself with the necessary skills to achieve your goals. The mindset that we usually have when the year is about to end is days off and fun, that is why we no longer want to think about anything concerning work or business. I believe, however, that the end of the year is the best time to prepare ourselves for the goals and challenges. This can be done by identifying first what knowledge and skills we need to have to achieve the goals we have set, then finding the right action that would enable us to acquire such knowledge and skills. Isn’t it better to start the new year fully equipped?
3. Put a closure to the things that made you unproductive. In the previous blog, I have included on the list of things to do before the year ends the identification of the reasons why we have not achieved some of our 2020 goals. This process can show us the habits or routines we have that contributed to our inability to achieve certain goals. If we can identify such unhelpful habits or routines, then we have to start working on letting those go before the new year.
4. Start new habits that will help you achieve your goals. Besides ridding ourselves of nonsensical habits, we should also start new ones that would help us become more productive, and make us more capable of accomplishing our goals. Since it is said that it takes days to form a habit, we should start developing the habits we want to keep for the new year before it starts so that the first month will not be wasted on adjustments. 
5. Revitalize yourself to be ready for what you are about to do. The current year brought us different types of stresses which made us exhausted not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. For most of us, it extracted a lot of energy. For this reason, we need to allocate ample time to rest our body, mind, heart, and soul. This can be done through meditation, exercise, and a healthy lifestyle. 

If there were goals that did not materialize this year, the new year will be another chance to work for them. We may not know what the future holds but we should not just wait for it to unfold without physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually preparing for it. We should have a clear direction, tools, open mind, and courageous heart when we set out on a new journey. The above suggestions are some of the ways that would help us obtain these essentials. 

Do you think these are important? Or should we just go with the flow? 

Many people would agree that this year is the most challenging one so far because of the fear and uncertainty caused by the pandemic. Despite the hardships and pain that it brought to most of us, we all did our best to survive and thrive. We did our best to move forward by finding alternative ways to make things work even if it means trying something new and uncomfortable. A few more days and the year 2020 will finally come to an end. We are all hopeful and looking forward to the new year, but before we welcome it, here are things we should do first: 

1. Write a gratitude list. Despite the challenges we faced this year, we surely have a lot to be grateful for. To be reminded of our blessings, we have to count them and write them down. Before this year ends, we need to have a gratitude list.
2. Assess our 2020 results. Another important thing to do before the year ends is to check the status of our relationships, finances, health, and other important aspects of life. Are we happy about our health or lifestyle? Are we still connected with our family and friends? Did we spend more than what is necessary? These are important questions we need to ask ourselves to assess if we got the results that we desire. 
3. Make a list of all the things we have achieved this year. Aside from taking note of our blessings, it will also help us feel motivated to face the new year if we list all our achievements, may it be big or small. 
4. Thank the people who made a positive impact on our life. We should reach out to all the people who helped us get through the year in any way. Expressing our gratitude to them is our way to help them realize their achievements this year as well. Let us be one of the reasons they could still appreciate the year that was. 
5. Know the reasons why we have not achieved our other goals. When the year started, we might have set goals that became impossible to see through because of the global crisis we experienced. We should list those goals down and specify the reasons why those were not materialized. This piece of information will help us plan better for the new year. 

Nobody might have expected this year to turn out this way, but it gave us a lot of lessons and made us stronger, more resilient, and more resourceful. It brought out the best in many people, and it was a year of enlightenment. It is only fitting that we end it the right way so that all that we have learned will be applied in the next year. 

What do you think about these?

Why is it that we seldom find people who are fulfilled because they got what they want? I just recently found out the answer to this question.

In this life, we play a certain role. We have a set of responsibilities, and we do the necessary things to survive. We do these because we need to sustain ourselves for us to be capable of achieving what we want in life, which, usually for most people, is success. Success does not necessarily mean wealth, fame, or career. It could be a happy family life for some, or a simple laid back lifestyle for others. Regardless of what success looks like to each of us, it can’t be achieved if: 

1. We don’t set goals. Not having a goal is undeniably the top reason why we don’t get what we want. Goal entails the specific things that we need to obtain, perform, and complete for us to get closer to what we want. If our plans of action, steps, strategies, and methods are not clear, we would not know if what we’re doing would yield results that would bring us closer to our success. 
2. We care so much about what others say or think. Minding other people of what they say or think about us can make us a danger to our own selves. For instance, one person’s success means gaining financial stability or establishing his own business empire but some people close to him would always say that money is the root of all evil, or rich people have the most tendency to be evil, so he does not pursue his goals towards the success he wants. In other words, he sabotages his own success because he doesn’t want other people to think negatively about him.
3. We are afraid to take risks or fail. Either because of a past failure or disappointment, we become overly cautious and cynical on investing our resources, our time, and our feelings on things, experiences, or people that may lead us to get what we want most in life. Risks and failures are facts of life. In fact, a life journey is not meaningful without these. If we keep on playing on the safe side, how can we get what we want when it is on the other side?
4. We want to be ready before we go for it. We often intentionally miss opportunities that could have led us to where we want to be because we think that we need to be perfectly ready and equipped before starting our journey. We need to understand that experience is the best teacher. We can use the knowledge and skills we acquired through education, but we wouldn’t know the effectiveness unless we apply them in the real world. We have to prepare, yes, but we are not expected to be perfect before we start going after what we want.
5. We don’t focus on one thing. A lot of people believe that doing a lot of things at the same time can make success more possible because if one doesn’t work, one might. However, isn’t energy stronger when focused than when dispersed? Therefore, it is important to set goals that would lead us to the success we want and set our focus on accomplishing those one at a time. We should muster self-discipline enough to keep our eyes on our vision, not on other unimportant or unnecessary things.

If you are at a point in your life when you are confused why you just can’t make that ultimate dream happen, ask yourself these questions: did I set specific goals? Am I allowing myself to be affected by other people’s opinions? Am I willing to take risks? Am I afraid to fail? Did I work on getting what I want? Was I always distracted?

The answer to our question of why we are not getting what we want lies in us. 

Do you have any of the above tendencies? Share your thoughts.