When I was younger, I used to be unkind to myself. I tended to think less of myself because of the weaknesses I acknowledged that I have. I usually only saw the downside of every situation and expected the worst outcome more often than not. I was not aware then that I was sabotaging myself and destroying my being inside.
However, all those self-deprecations halted when one man told me that I could be good and that I only needed to believe in myself. More than the lesson of learning how to believe in oneself, I saw the value of kind and positive words, of how such words can revive a person who is dying inside.
In the same way, no matter how trivial we may think it is, negative words can dim the light of a hopeful person or extinguish that of a dying one.
When we feel hopeless, we should keep quiet rather than open our mouths and cause other people harm by speaking negatively. You don’t know what a person is going through, and you might just have made their day worse. Even if you may not be the main problem, you might become the added weight that finally causes that person to break. Be kind. If you can’t find the right words to say, give your support by just being there silently.
I can recount many experiences firsthand and from other people, proving the detrimental effect of negative words on people. One experience that I consider very heartbreaking was that of one close friend of mine. He is a brilliant person, genius even. He had ideals and had such monumental dreams for himself when he was a child. He would happily relay all his visions of the future to his family, thinking that they would be supportive of him. Although his family is supportive, they were apprehensive about allowing themselves to dream bigger than what they could afford based on their status in life. His family told him that his dream might be “impossible,” and so it was. It became impossible not because he was not capable. He was not able to make it happen because he stopped trying. Instead of ways, he could only think of the obstacles.
When given the opportunity, say a kind word to people whom you think need it. Offer them a smile or a helping hand. We might not be able to do much for everyone in the world, but by choosing our words, we are helping people to be stronger in facing life and its challenges. Agreeing to their negative self-talk to show understanding is not helping the person, and it does not solve anything. Don’t you think affirming their value as a person or suggesting solutions to their problems are better ways of making them feel good?