Why is it that we seldom find people who are fulfilled because they got what they want? I just recently found out the answer to this question.
In this life, we play a certain role. We have a set of responsibilities, and we do the necessary things to survive. We do these because we need to sustain ourselves for us to be capable of achieving what we want in life, which, usually for most people, is success. Success does not necessarily mean wealth, fame, or career. It could be a happy family life for some, or a simple laid back lifestyle for others. Regardless of what success looks like to each of us, it can’t be achieved if:
- We don’t set goals. Not having a goal is undeniably the top reason why we don’t get what we want. Goal entails the specific things that we need to obtain, perform, and complete for us to get closer to what we want. If our plans of action, steps, strategies, and methods are not clear, we would not know if what we’re doing would yield results that would bring us closer to our success.
- We care so much about what others say or think. Minding other people of what they say or think about us can make us a danger to our own selves. For instance, one person’s success means gaining financial stability or establishing his own business empire but some people close to him would always say that money is the root of all evil, or rich people have the most tendency to be evil, so he does not pursue his goals towards the success he wants. In other words, he sabotages his own success because he doesn’t want other people to think negatively about him.
- We are afraid to take risks or fail. Either because of a past failure or disappointment, we become overly cautious and cynical on investing our resources, our time, and our feelings on things, experiences, or people that may lead us to get what we want most in life. Risks and failures are facts of life. In fact, a life journey is not meaningful without these. If we keep on playing on the safe side, how can we get what we want when it is on the other side?
- We want to be ready before we go for it. We often intentionally miss opportunities that could have led us to where we want to be because we think that we need to be perfectly ready and equipped before starting our journey. We need to understand that experience is the best teacher. We can use the knowledge and skills we acquired through education, but we wouldn’t know the effectiveness unless we apply them in the real world. We have to prepare, yes, but we are not expected to be perfect before we start going after what we want.
- We don’t focus on one thing. A lot of people believe that doing a lot of things at the same time can make success more possible because if one doesn’t work, one might. However, isn’t energy stronger when focused than when dispersed? Therefore, it is important to set goals that would lead us to the success we want and set our focus on accomplishing those one at a time. We should muster self-discipline enough to keep our eyes on our vision, not on other unimportant or unnecessary things.
If you are at a point in your life when you are confused why you just can’t make that ultimate dream happen, ask yourself these questions: did I set specific goals? Am I allowing myself to be affected by other people’s opinions? Am I willing to take risks? Am I afraid to fail? Did I work on getting what I want? Was I always distracted?
The answer to our question of why we are not getting what we want lies in us.
Do you have any of the above tendencies? Share your thoughts.