The year 2023, so far, has been very eventful for me. We are back to conducting onsite training events, and traveling. 

Influenced by the different activities we have engaged ourselves in this year, plenty of ideas have been conceived. These ideas have been brought about by these recent realizations I have:

1. I have come to the conclusion that home is indeed a feeling. At first I thought that we’d be missing our house so much since we’d been gone for a long period of time. However, we have not really felt the level of homesickness that we expected. I realized later on that it could be because my spouse and I are together here, along with our fur baby. Besides that, we also got to visit many of our relatives. We feel at home here even when we are physically away from home. Thus, I conclude that home is a feeling and not merely a place. 
2. I have also been reminded that time is a gift we can only hope to have more of. In the period of time we have spent here in Manila, we have experienced circumstances that made us realize how important time is. Putting off tasks or other activities next time could sometimes lead to regrets because sometimes the next opportunity would no longer come. 
3. My belief on relationships thriving if nurtured has been cemented. There are relationships that we built and there are those that we are automatically gifted with when we were born. Yet, any kind of relationship could only survive and bloom when we take care of it, and put an effort to maintain it. 
4. It is never too late to start anew. Age does not matter when we want to start a new journey in life. We should not be limited to the standards of society about starting again. We can decide to change addresses or change careers if that is what we believe is the best path for us. 
5. You will never know until you try. Regardless of the outcome, it is always better to try than to be left with a series of what-ifs in the future. 

These are just random thoughts that I relate to a lot these days. How about you? Do you have any thoughts or realizations you feel like sharing?

As years keep adding up to my life, I become more curious about the difference in the lives of those who are happier from those who seem to be more uptight. Some would say that it is a no-brainer question. According to them, those who do not struggle financially are happier. Yet, it’s not always the case based on my observations. As I meet more people and learn their respective stories, I still get surprised with how some of them maintain a positive and happy disposition despite the challenges that life throws at them. 

So what did I discover? Since we are social beings, we inadvertently base our actions and decisions on the people around us – whether from wanting to please or from not wanting to be judged or cause disappointment. This kind of living is not healthy because it could hold us from tapping on our full potential and achieving our goals. Limited by the fear of society’s standards, the fear of being wrong in other people’s views and the eagerness to please others. Needless to say, this way does not make one happier. 

While it is not easy to divert from this tendency, there are little things that we can do to slowly do:

1. Keep yourself surrounded by people who acknowledge and encourage your views and goals, no matter how unique they may seem. While choosing solitary life may seem to be the perfect option for those who cannot stand criticisms and unsolicited advice, it is not feasible. I believe in the saying that no man is an island. Fortunately though, we have the free will to choose who to surround ourselves with. If you are someone who needs positive encouragement, then be with people who will not willingly put out your passion.  
2. Learn to compartmentalize when dealing with people who have different viewpoints from you. Due to people’s differences in experiences, we should always expect differences in opinions or viewpoints as well. While some people are willing to accept this difference, there are those who feel strongly about their beliefs that they would take offense when they hear different notions. When you find yourself in this situation, never take things personally.  
3. Take care of your wellbeing. Take care of yourself by continuously learning and taking time to rest and have fun. When you have a well-rounded life, it would be easier for you to appreciate the goodness of life and see the challenges as means to develop your character.  

Do you think that living a carefree life is possible? Are these pieces of advice helpful to achieve such a goal?

(Photo by Samir Jammal)

Helping others is one of the, if not the sole, reasons for our existence and our gifts. I believe that whatever blessings a person enjoys are meant to be shared with others, especially those who are in need of them. We need to remember, though, that the best way to help is not by spoon-feeding but by helping them learn how to acquire or achieve their goals. 

Based on my life experiences, I discovered the best ways to help people. Having experienced being one who needed help, and being the one who extended it, I have realized the following to be very helpful:

1. When someone cannot perform a task correctly, do it with them. Doing the task on their behalf might solve their current predicament but they would not be able to learn to do it in the future. It would not be possible for you to do it for them all the time, right? 
2. When someone is in a slump, remind them of their goal. Commenting negatively on their actions, inactions, decisions or indecisions would not lead them to do what is right. Instead of nagging, why don’t you serve as a reminder and an encouragement for them to remember their purposes and aspirations in life?  
3. Provide materials they can use as guidance. Since you cannot be available to directly help or guide them all the time, it is good to provide them with directions that they could use as a basis until such time that they become confident in doing things on their own. 
4. Let them learn from their mistakes. Allowing them to experience the effects of the mistakes they committed is one of the best ways to teach someone a lesson. Experience is the best teacher. Once they know how it feels to make a mistake, it would motivate them to do better and be better. 
5. Be a great example or model. Sometimes, people do not take kindly to being advised or guided by someone who does not practice what they preach. More often than not, people tend to emulate what they see. Therefore, it is important to be a good role model if you want to help others learn. 

While there is nothing wrong with helping someone by offering what they need on a silver platter, ready to be consumed, the lasting effects of helping them learn how to get what they need definitely is the better option to take.  

What do you think are other ways to help others?

(Photo by olia danilevich)

Some of us believe that changing one’s mind is not a good practice because it would make us seem inconsistent. A person who constantly changes his mind is usually considered as a red flag. This common belief led many people to stick to their plans even when, along the way, they discovered better ones. Isn’t it sad that society’s stereotype towards changing minds hindered others from achieving success and happiness?

If you are at the stage of your life where you are contemplating whether to change your direction or stay where you are, here are some pieces of advice for you to stop fearing change.

1. It is fine to change your mind about your life path when you learn new possibilities that you initially thought are not achievable. Never allow what others might say or think to stop you from changing your direction towards the better life you wish for yourself and the people who matter to you.
2. It is fine to change your mind about your life path because your beliefs changed. Most of our beliefs have only been passed on to us. As we mature, go through different experiences, and learn, we realize many things that make us hesitate about our life choices. When this happens to you, allow yourself to make a change as long as you are firm with what you believe.
3. It is fine to change when circumstances change, and adapting is necessary. There are times when what we initially plan can no longer be achieved due to a change in condition, which we cannot control. Is it wise to still stick to that path when you know any efforts you put into it will only be futile? Do not stick to it for the sake of not being labeled as a fickle-minded person. Remember that your future is at stake, not theirs.
4. It is fine to change when we discover the truth and learn the realities of life. As we grow older and start to fend for ourselves, we face challenges that would necessitate us to adjust our approach or timing of our goals. Never be afraid to change whatever you need to change to continue your life journey. You might need to change your pace or your destination. That is totally okay and up to you.
5. It is fine to change when we find that one thing that makes us feel fulfilled. It is not true that dreams do not change. They do for some people (if not all). When you reach a certain point in your life, that point when you are already capable of discernment, ask yourself whether what you are pursuing still stirs the passion in you. If you find something that you love, it is okay for you to reach for that instead.

Let us not be afraid of change and be the initiator of change. When you know that changing is necessary for your growth and the fulfillment of your life purpose, do not let your insecurities or other people’s judgment stop you. You can serve the world better when you love who and what you are. Live life to the fullest.

Do you agree that it is okay to change one’s mind when faced with these instances?

(Photo by Ondosan Sinaga)