How to Overcome Your Fears

Fear, an unpleasant feeling caused by thoughts of danger, pain, or suffering, can sometimes become more dangerous to a person than the perceived danger itself. How? If allowed to take control over one’s mind, fear causes one to think and act irrationally. It cripples a person and hinders their ability to function and thrive. The objects of fear vary from one person to another, albeit some also share the same fear. It can be caused by a thing, a creature, another person, a concept, a situation, or a feeling. 

Regardless of the kind and gravity of a person’s fear, one may overcome it the same way that others might. Here is a process that one may find helpful in overcoming any fear. 

  1. Gradually face your fears rather than avoid them. Some people do their best to keep themselves safe from whatever it is that they fear. They prevent it or any situation that might lead them to the object of their fear. This strategy, however, would limit a person from experiencing life to the fullest. It can cause missed opportunities. Therefore, instead of avoiding it, one should face it gradually. Allowing oneself to be exposed to whatever they are afraid of will help in getting accustomed to it. The fear may not entirely dissipate, but it will eventually lessen and no longer cause panic or paralysis, which is more dangerous. 
  2. Talk to the right people and seek help or advice. It may not be easy for a person to admit to other people that they have fears, not only because of pride but also because it makes them more vulnerable. However, if one wants to conquer such a challenge, they should accept that they need other people’s help. One would find that allowing other people who care and can help to talk and walk them through those fears makes them less afraid because they now have someone who could help them face and overcome the challenge.   
  3. Actively remind yourself of the positive things around you. People tend to lose sight of beautiful things when overwhelmed with negative feelings, especially that crippling feeling of fear. They tend to focus on anxiety. One should make a conscious effort to remind themselves of the other beautiful things, other good people, other great happenings around them to help lessen the impact of what one fear. It is like diminishing negative thoughts through positive thinking. 

These strategies can only serve a person well if they have the resolve to quell their fears indeed. One needs to have faith and bravery, for there is not enough advice to break through a distrustful or cowardly heart. 

Do you think these ways help overcome fears? 





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3 Ways to Help People Change for the Better

One of the best feelings in the world is the fulfillment of being able to help other people. Fortunately, helping others can be done through various means. You can help alleviate momentary inconveniences or discomfort, provide needs, and even change lives for the better. The latter, which does not require financial capability, is obviously of much gravity and is much more fulfilling than just providing partial comfort. 

The will to change, however, is up to the person who needs it. As someone on the outside, you can only try to influence the person to want to change but you have no right to impose the change you think the former needs.  In other words, you have to know whether they want to change or not before you can help with the process. It is very invasive of someone’s personal life if you try to help them change when, in the first place, they do not see anything wrong with themselves. So what are the possible ways that you can do to help the person change for the better if the need arises?  

  1. Know where the person is coming from. Before you can figure out a way to help a person in changing his negative attitude, behavior or way of life, you have to go back to the reason why they develop such acts in the first place. Understanding their background or their experiences will help you identify the right solution to the challenge. 
  2. Provide long-term solutions. More often than not, people go back to what they are used to or what’s more comfortable for them. The solution to this is making them realize that one of the best ways to switch to a better direction is by providing them with new habits that can replace the old one permanently but can lead to a better outcome. 
  3. Be a role model. Sometimes, helping people to change is more effectively done by showing them an example. Instead of just directing or advising the person you want to change, you have to show it through your own actions. You have to be a better person and show how your decision to do the right thing affects your life and the people around you. 

We all have our fair share of negative traits. However, this should not hinder us from helping others overcome their own. As we open ourselves to be helped by others to overcome our own weaknesses and change for the better, we are showing them how it is okay to receive help.  

How else can you help people change for the better? 




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3 Ways to Take Control of Your Emotions

As human beings, our daily lives constitute myriads of emotions that we can’t help ourselves from feeling. Depending on the reasons or stimuli, we may experience both positive and negative emotions. And, that is fine. We should not fault ourselves for having those feelings because each of those is part of human nature.

However, it is equally essential for us to note that when we cradle negative emotions for an extended period, those emotions would corrupt our thoughts and cloud our judgment. Being in that state is detrimental to our health and our productivity. Therefore, we should learn ways to help us manage such negative emotions when necessary.

  1. Determine if the situation is within your control or not. While there are instances when the challenges you encounter can be fixed or corrected, there are also situations that are unfortunately out of your control, nor can you do something about it. When you find yourself in that situation, it is better to identify where it came from, what triggers the emotion. On the other hand, you should do something to alleviate the circumstance when you see that you can. But the first thing to do is assess the situation to know whether to let it go or work on it.
  2. Ask yourself better questions like “how can I turn things around?” or “what can I learn from this?”. After identifying whether you can solve the situation, the next thing to do is not to prolong the problem by moping around or blaming people or situations. Instead, you should ask yourself how you can correct or solve this problem if possible. If it is out of your control, you should see the bright side of the situation and learn the lesson that you can glean from it.
  3. Take necessary actions to make things better. What do you do when the proverbial milk is spilled? You can’t get the liquid back to the cup. You can’t drink it anymore. So what should you do? Wipe the spill to avoid accidents and make another cup of milk. Indeed, that would make you feel better than crying over what was spilled, right? In other words, when things do not go the way you want them to, find different ways to make it happen or find the next solution.

Nobody is perfect, and bad days are inevitable. However, we should not allow these excuses to justify our negative actions or behaviors that we can control. Having control over our own emotions is a skill in itself that is necessary for maintaining relationships, surviving challenging situations, and thriving in general.

What are other ways you can suggest to control emotions?




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5 Indispensable Elements to Start Any Life Journey

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” – Zig Ziglar.

Ever since I stumbled upon this quote, I started to live by it. Through it, I realized that I don’t need to be perfect nor be in a perfect circumstance before taking a step toward any venture I wish to engage in. Yet, I also believe that there are indispensable factors that one needs to be adequately equipped in facing the new undertaking. These key factors are the following:

  1. Faith. As an ardent believer of God, I put my trust in Him that when my heart and mind are drawn to an idea, He’s the one responsible for putting that in me. Therefore, I strengthen my resolve to pursue whatever I believe I am called to do. Without faith, we would quickly feel defeated when we fail. We would easily be confused as to what our purpose or mission is. 
  2. Passion. Have you noticed how easy it is to do a task that you find exciting or love? More often than not, the results you obtain in performing such tasks are satisfactory, aren’t they? Compare those results with the ones that come out from performing tasks that you weren’t enthusiastic about at all. There is indeed a vast difference, and that is passion. An intense desire is needed to fuel you through any venture you wish to put yourself through. Without passion, you may easily give it up when you face challenging situations.
  3. Self-discipline. Not everything you do will be easy to accomplish. Despite this fact, giving up should not be the solution. To overcome any challenges, you need the ability to handle yourself when you feel disappointed or frustrated when things don’t work the way you want them to work. You need to help yourself to keep going even when you feel weak and tired. You need to be consistent. 
  4. Positive Attitude. Do you know that you attract what you think or say? Like when you say the day would be bad, it would eventually be bad. I believe it has something to do with your emotions. When you keep a pessimistic attitude when faced with challenges, there would be a higher tendency for you to think of adverse outcomes rather than come up with solutions. Therefore, you need to keep a positive attitude despite any problematic situations you may encounter. 
  5. Supporter. Regardless of the many pessimistic people, you may know who could influence your decision, you will more likely strengthen your determination when you have even one person who supports you. You don’t need everyone to believe in what you are capable of doing, but you will need someone who will cheer you on when you feel a little uncertain with your steps. 

With these elements, I achieved most of my dreams and lived my mission in life. Was I perfectly capable of making those goals happen? Absolutely not. For instance, when I felt that I am inclined to become a sales trainer, I did not have all the knowledge and skills to become one. I only felt the pull in that direction. Therefore, I took the next step of equipping myself through education with faith, passion, self-discipline, a positive attitude, and the support of some loved ones. As Lao Tzu said, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”



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The Most Important Components of Success

What does success mean for you? When do you claim that you are successful?  

I am aware that most people define success as accomplishing a goal or attaining a certain level of wealth and fame. Then, why do most still feel depressed after achieving the things they thought they wanted in their lives? It is because success can mean different things to people based on their roles in life. For a mother, success could mean being able to keep her child happy and safe. For an environmentalist, success could mean people are doing a collective action to protect the planet. For a teacher, success could mean accomplished students. For me, success is not measured by the number of achievements, money, nor fame. I say success means fulfillment, growth, overcoming fears, learning to embrace rejections. 

On my journey through life, I encountered different kinds of difficulties, some of which disabled me to achieve some of my goals. Despite it all, I consider myself successful not because I achieved the goals I set for myself but because I managed to overcome each of those obstacles, learned from them, and experienced growth in the process. 

More importantly, I can say that when you have the following most important components, you are successful in life.

  1. Sense of fulfillment. Without this feeling, can you say you have achieved success? When you don’t feel that happiness or contentment after performing a task or accomplishing a goal, you know success is not at hand. This feeling is achieved when you know you gave your all to do what you have to do.  
  2. Knowing your purpose. We cannot be genuinely happy or content through money or fame because these are not our purpose for being. We are to use what we have, both material and intangible resources, to fulfill our purpose. That is why we need to know our goal for us to complete it and achieve real success.
  3. Personal growth. This should be one of the results of the challenges you face in your journey. If you did not grow personally after all the difficulties you encountered, you could never say you are successful. The things and goals we achieved, the status we have now, and the lessons we learned from the past are all the results of our personal growth.

Needless to say, success is not measured by all the glories we know. It is much more profound. Do you agree?




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