A few nights ago, my wife and I went on our evening routine of strolling around. After a couple of rounds around our subdivision, we decided to rest on one of the benches on the clubhouse’s lawn. All of a sudden, she asked me the details of how a past situation of mine came to be. Although she knows my story, my wife did not thoroughly know the specifics of the experiences I had in the past. So I recounted to her all the details leading to that situation I was in, including the people who somewhat used their influence against me and my goals in life at that time. While recalling those people, I suddenly realized how instrumental they were for without their interference, I would have achieved the goal that I had then. I would have been pursuing a different career. This realization amazed me that I told her, “Wow! I should be thankful to them for the hardships they caused me then.” 

This example strengthened my belief that life doesn’t happen to us, but it happens for us. Everything happens for a reason. In a previous blog, I shared why rejections should not be treated as a sign to stop doing what we are supposed to do. This time, I am sharing why we should not despise or condemn the people or happenings in our past that caused us rejections, disappointment, suffering, or pain. 

1. Without challenges, we will not see a need to persevere. Wisdom is gained through real-life experiences. If everything we need and want is freely given to us without much of an effort, what would we need knowledge, skills, or strength for? Difficult situations compelled us to adapt or be resilient while gaining experiences that gave us competencies to overcome similar challenges in the future. 
2. We could be meant for a different path if no matter how hard we labor, we are hindered from achieving our goal by an unaltered opposition. We need to acknowledge that, although we have the will to choose, we are meant to fulfill a purpose or plan that is greater than our own. We are not given a direct order or instruction as to what this purpose is, but we are being prepared for it and directed to it through the different challenges that we encounter.  

Therefore, we should not be angry nor discouraged if the odds are not in our favor for everything truly happens for a reason. All experiences are intended to give us lessons that would shape us to become the person needed to fulfill the mission we are meant to carry out. Now, if we think about it, we actually should not sow grudge and contempt in our hearts towards the people who hurt us or caused us pain. They were necessary so that we may become capable to accomplish our purpose. My wife even joked that she’d contact those people so she can thank them since we would not have met if not for them. I couldn’t agree more.