What do you consider as your priceless treasures in the world? Without any hesitation, I would really say that my greatest treasures are the relationships I have and keep for without these, everything that I do and achieve will be meaningless. Needless to say, if I am very careful with the material things that I have, I am especially protective of my relationships. Although maintaining such relationships is a challenge particularly when these people have different values and viewpoints from me, I do not use it as a reason to neglect them. Every relationship is two-way, so it is my responsibility to keep it working as much as the other person’s. With this in mind, I do whatever it takes to maintain the following roles with the people that matter:

1. A trustworthy spouse. I always make sure to have open communication with my wife. Among all other acts of love, being transparent is the primary act that I maintain in my relationship with my spouse. I treat her as my other half who, aside from God, must know everything about me, what I think, or feel, and what is going on in every aspect of my life. And, like how open I am with her, I also make her feel safe to be open with me. In other words, as simple as it may seem, our open communication with each other is the foundation of the trust we have in our relationship. It is what keeps us grow together and not apart.   
2. A supportive family member. Even though I live away from our families with my wife, I do my best to make our families feel loved by making an effort to communicate and support them in any way I can. For me, distance should not be a hindrance to making loved ones feel loved and cared for.
3. A reliable friend. I may not be able to meet my friends often, but I make sure that they can rely on me to listen to them, offer them pieces of advice if they need some, and help them in whatever way I can. Regardless of my busy schedule, I also do my best to meet them when they need me or even just to catch up.
4. An encouraging coach. The relationship I want to maintain with my teams and valued clients is not the typical one since they have become a part of my life, and they allowed me to be part of their respective careers. They have become a family to me. This is the reason that I constantly communicate with them and continuously motivate them.

Above all else, my relationship with the Creator is the number one key that helps me make these different relations sustain. As a human being, who sometimes fall short in understanding the differences and shortcomings of other people, I can only turn to Him to enlighten and guide me to do the right thing and have more patience and love in my heart despite it all. More importantly, since I can’t control how they think, feel, or react, God is the only one whom I can rely on to guide them the way He does with me.   

I am not claiming to be an expert in keeping relationships nor am I saying that I handle each perfectly. The message I want to deliver here is that we can find ways to make the different relationships we have work. 

How about you? How do you sustain your relationships? Feel free to share your experience or thoughts in the comment section below.

A few nights ago, my wife and I went on our evening routine of strolling around. After a couple of rounds around our subdivision, we decided to rest on one of the benches on the clubhouse’s lawn. All of a sudden, she asked me the details of how a past situation of mine came to be. Although she knows my story, my wife did not thoroughly know the specifics of the experiences I had in the past. So I recounted to her all the details leading to that situation I was in, including the people who somewhat used their influence against me and my goals in life at that time. While recalling those people, I suddenly realized how instrumental they were for without their interference, I would have achieved the goal that I had then. I would have been pursuing a different career. This realization amazed me that I told her, “Wow! I should be thankful to them for the hardships they caused me then.” 

This example strengthened my belief that life doesn’t happen to us, but it happens for us. Everything happens for a reason. In a previous blog, I shared why rejections should not be treated as a sign to stop doing what we are supposed to do. This time, I am sharing why we should not despise or condemn the people or happenings in our past that caused us rejections, disappointment, suffering, or pain. 

1. Without challenges, we will not see a need to persevere. Wisdom is gained through real-life experiences. If everything we need and want is freely given to us without much of an effort, what would we need knowledge, skills, or strength for? Difficult situations compelled us to adapt or be resilient while gaining experiences that gave us competencies to overcome similar challenges in the future. 
2. We could be meant for a different path if no matter how hard we labor, we are hindered from achieving our goal by an unaltered opposition. We need to acknowledge that, although we have the will to choose, we are meant to fulfill a purpose or plan that is greater than our own. We are not given a direct order or instruction as to what this purpose is, but we are being prepared for it and directed to it through the different challenges that we encounter.  

Therefore, we should not be angry nor discouraged if the odds are not in our favor for everything truly happens for a reason. All experiences are intended to give us lessons that would shape us to become the person needed to fulfill the mission we are meant to carry out. Now, if we think about it, we actually should not sow grudge and contempt in our hearts towards the people who hurt us or caused us pain. They were necessary so that we may become capable to accomplish our purpose. My wife even joked that she’d contact those people so she can thank them since we would not have met if not for them. I couldn’t agree more.  

Yesterday, I spent the whole day with my family. We went to church early in the morning then went on a road trip after. I felt so good and refreshed afterward that I became more excited to face the new week. I realized, however, that it could have been a stressful time for me if I worried about all the tasks that my wife and I left undone or if I constantly checked my phone for any work-related notifications. Therefore, I am so thankful that I have learned from a lot of great motivational people in the world the importance of being in the moment because I get to enjoy every experience.

Do you know that part of what’s stressing us out is our tendency to think about other things while doing another? Who wouldn’t get stressed out anticipating the workload on Monday while eating dinner on a Sunday? What did we miss in this particular scenario? The enjoyment we could have had while savoring the dinner, and/or the happiness we could have felt while having a conversation with our family at the dinner table. 

We do not live to the fullest by just engaging in many adventures or activities. We can live to the fullest when we savor each and every experience in our life. We can live to the fullest when we also learn to prioritize time for our wellness, for our loved ones, and for other activities that do not necessarily involve work. As the saying goes, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. 

What are the things that we should allocate time to besides work or business? Here are my personal preferences.

1. Time with the Creator. First and foremost, I always ask God for guidance and strength for everything that I do. I personally believe that allotting time to talk with Him is the most important of all. We should not let our busy schedules get in the way of our time for Him. If we can spend many hours scrolling social media, we can surely spend 30 minutes or so with Him every day. After all, without Him in our midst, everything will just be chaotic. 
2. Family time. I used to justify to my wife that I really can’t spend time with her and the rest of the family much because I am too busy. I used to think that if I worked hard or spent all my time working, I would make my family happy and secure. I was so wrong because time is more important to them. As we all know, tomorrow is not promised. If we spend time working hard for them but did not really spend time with them, we might miss the chance. 
3. Wellness time. I always make sure to insert exercise in my schedule because I believe that taking care of our bodies is the way to keep going. We should not abuse ourselves. Not only should we take care of our bodies, but we should also take care of our mental and emotional health. To do this, I make time for meditation or quiet time. If we won’t take care of ourselves, then we are just sabotaging everything that we are working hard on.

There are a lot of essential things in life that we must also allot time aside from work and business. We must learn to prioritize these things because success in a career would feel empty if there is a deficiency in any of the other things that matter. Would you be happy to have millions in the bank but without a family to share it with, or with deteriorating health? 

Not long ago, in one of the training events I attended, my classmates and I were introduced to a morning routine that is said to be very powerful and helpful in having a productive day. The tasks include writing down all the things that you are grateful for that day. All means every single thing, person, and moment so there is no limit to the list. I actually heard of this practice a hundred times in the past already but would just forget about it, thinking that it isn’t that vital in my daily life. When I finally started this practice as part of the routine taught to us by our mentor, I realized right then and there how beneficial it is to me. 

From then on, I have become more positive, more hopeful, more loving, and more appreciative. It was like seeing the things and people in my life for the first time. I say that if we are always grateful, we will see endless benefits. Based on my experience, here are some of those benefits:

1. We become a happy and positive person. When we are always reminded of the things and people we have, we become a happy and positive person because we will less likely focus on what we do not have. Rather than feeling empty, we will feel blessed instead when we see the list of all that we are grateful for.
2. We are able to appreciate even the little things. Sometimes, we fail to see the value of the things and people we have. But, when we take our time in analyzing each of their values, we realize how blessed we are to have them. Only when we take time to focus on everything that we have, that we are able to appreciate even the little things.
3. We become healthier. Being grateful keeps us healthy because we have a happy and positive disposition. Since we are constantly happy as we are reminded of our blessings, and we are positive that there are still good things amidst any negative situations, we lessen the stress that may come from dealing with our tasks and any other challenges.
4. It helps us maintain healthy relationships. Of course, when we constantly remind yourself of the people we are grateful for in our life, we appreciate their life and our connection with them more. When we see how blessed we are to have them, we will have the tendency to protect and take care of our relationship with them. Therefore, it helps us maintain healthy relationships.
5. It keeps us grounded. Every time we count our blessings – from the simplest to the grandest one, we become less of a complainer or whiner because we realize that we have already been blessed with a lot. When we do not acquire something, we do not see the world as unfair. We become someone who is not entitled. In other words, it keeps us grounded.

If you are wondering how you can change for the better, start with counting your blessings every single day and appreciating each one of those blessings. Being grateful can turn a poor person into a rich one. Choose to be grateful to live a more meaningful and healthy life. As Zig Ziglar said, “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”